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Stephanie Rennolds

"Like a Day Without Sunshine**" by Stephanie Rennolds

SF&F Picture 5 out of 9 by Stephanie Rennolds
 
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This is a poem for Emelie Thordelof's 100th comment. She asked me to write it so it went along with her picture, linked here. :) My second published poem!! Arg.. I hope it's okay...
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Like a day without sunshine

Her whole world fell apart

With wings torn asunder

And pieces of her broken heart

 

When her God left her crying

And her soul left to die

She looked to the skies

Walls breaking inside

 

Like a day without sunshine

An angel’s flowing tears

Berate her cruel and unfair maker

And quell the fallen’s fears

 

Wings ripped from her shoulders

A sign of unmaking

She gazes at the heavens

As her heart is breaking

 

She calls out in anger

Hoping one will hear her plea

That once there was redemption

That there will once more be

 

Empty cries upon empty ears

No one hears her souls lament

It gives her pain when no one cares

Just like when her wings were rent

 

Frail hands raised in supplement

Fresh blood on her skin

She prays for forgiveness

And to be let back in

 

And on a day without sunshine

The Heavens unleashed

On one poor little angel

Of different belief

←- Blossoms of Fire * | The Seer's Garden* -→

DateNameComment 
8 Dec 200645 Naomi
Wow, it looks like there are no comments but in fact there are three. Great rhythm, though i think one or two stanzas ((is that right?) had a bit of trouble. And here's my nit:

'her souls lament' - unless this beautiful fallen angel has a lotta lotta souls, there should be a ' there to show possessive ^_^

but other than that, my breath was literally taken away by the first three of four stanzas/paragraphs/things. So beautiful, seriously. I felt so much for tha poor beauty. Why did she fall?Yay! Only one typo. ^_^ Thanks, Nomi-chan. Hey, where have you been?
8 Dec 2006:-) Emelie 'Emmy' Thordelöf
Hey you there =)
Yaaay it's up
I like it as much as I did when I first read it I think you did great work on this =)[smiles happily] I'm glad you like.
8 Dec 2006:-) Dave Cripps
Much better to rhyme alternate lines. Check ot Wilf Owen and chums.You read! Ahhh! [runs around]
8 Dec 2006:-) Gwenivere Stephan
Well, as far as poems go it is quite all right, but personally I didn't think it had very much of a poem feel to it. Maybe it's just me and my own taste in poetry, but I thought it could have used a bit less literal meaning and a little more pictures. Show not tell, as they say. I myself cannot talk too much about poetry (mine is awful) but that's how I felt. good, though, really!o.o Wow, four comments. Hehe, thank you! ^_^
9 Dec 2006:-) Dave Cripps
I can't read nor spell neither... 10

Some I will read but others will have to be printed out I cant be staring at this thing for ages.Bwah...
27 Apr 2007:-) Sarah-amy haley
You write very good poetry.
Well doneThis is probably my better one, because I had an inspiration.
23 May 200745 Arthur Domino... with a broom *looks at it oddly*
I like! The rhyme is nice. I think the meter is a tad bit off, especially in the first stanza... you might remove the 'whole' and rework the last line.... no suggestions for that one. But then again, it's a poem, so do what you like with it. Not like haiku... *shudders* *tried writing haiku here recently and about died*Zank oooooo..........
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About 'Like a Day Without Sunshine**':
 • Status: OK
 • Created by: :-) Stephanie Rennolds
 • Copyright: ©Stephanie Rennolds. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Angel, Sad, Wings, Sunshine, Day
 • Categories: Angels, Religious, Spiritual, Holy, Vampires, Zombies, Undeads, Dark, Gothic
 • Views: 604


More by 'Stephanie Rennolds':
 The Seer's Garden*
Reflections*
Fae Child**
Angel of Death *
Blossoms of Fire *
Come To Mama *
Annie *
Repeating Myself *

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