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Stories / Stories / Laura Skylie Engler / Text 5 of 13 / Merciless

"Merciless" by Laura Skylie Engler

SF&F Picture 5 out of 13 by Laura Skylie Engler

A poem, based on the picture

Illustration merciless.jpg for Merciless

Celese lead Jette into the forest,
Without a word, without a sound,
Towards that spot se'd adored so much,
Where the river gently pushed by
The snapberrie bushes around the grand old stump,
Where the trees masked the sky and
Allowed only little winks of light through, so
They could dance on the forest floor.
Jette had speant many hours
Watching the minnows in the stream
Picking the snapberries for ink
Watching from the large grey boulder.
Today, she does not of these.
She does not watch the minnows
She does not pick the berries
She does not watch from the rock.
The trees are not a mask today,
They are witnesses as Jette drops
To her knees by silent force.
Her head lowers and Celeste's sword raises,
Without a word, without a sound.
The head remains hung, hands fall into
Jette's pale yellow skirt...
After all the crying and all the begging...
Celest hadn't heard a word, hasn't heard a sound...
All she could do was hope
The fallen friends are not merciless.

←- Hederrik | Merciless -→

Date	Name	Comment
5 Jun 2001	Joanne R. Turner	Loading... Nice poetic story, great pic, but I fail to understand why there friendship failed, and so tragically came to an end. It's based on a plot line that I'm working on for a novel, you see, so the story is intentionally incomplete. Jette and Celeste used to be really good friends when they lived back in their small village, but poor Celeste was corrupted by the powers of evils and turned on all her friends.
23 Aug 2001	Joey8	Loading... Ooooooh! This looks great! I'm sure the novel will be wonderful!
5 Nov 2002	Sarah Hudson	Loading... Very sad poem. Poor Jette at the mercy of someone who has no mercy. I hope you're still developing this story! Maybe in one of the works you have posted here that I haven't read yet... I need to keep reading!
25 Nov 2002	Lindy 'Shanra' Kuepers	Loading... Oooh... It makes a bit more sense with the explanation in the first comment. I think if you look over this, you might see that there are some tiny typos that confuse. But apart from that it is a wonderful poem. You captured very well the feeling of sadness and lost friendship. And you did a wonderful job on writing a story in a poetic shape. I fail miserably at those, so I love reading work where it just works. I agree that the novel must be wonderful, as the poem is so wonderful as it is. It really fits the picture too.
3 Mar 2003	Lindsey Butler	Loading... This is disturbing, but in a good way. The title is very fitting and the picture goes along so well! I'm not very good at criticising poems, but I enjoyed this one, so I aside from the occasional typo, I found it highly enjoyable.
4 Mar 2003	Emilie Aurora Finn	Loading... I enjoyed both the poem and illustration very much. I think the poem as poetry is great because it gives the reader just enough information to feel for the characters, and have a clear sense of what's going on, and yet it leaves so much to wonder about, so much left unanswered. Not only why their friendship failed, but whether or not Celeste is actually merciless. It's fun to wonder! Yes, there are some typos, but I'm assuming you know about those. The only real critique I have for this is the last two lines: "All she could do was hope / That fallen friends are not merciless." At first I was confused about which one of the two was doing the hoping. Of course, it was quite clear from context once I read it through a couple times, but the "she" there could refer to either one.
10 Mar 2003	Pelv13	Loading... Poetry isn't your strongest point (as far as i can discerne from my reading up to this point) though it isn't bad compared to some of the poems that are out there... Somehow they come out as detached... Maybe it is just me... After the second read i appreciated far more though... Keep practicing... I like your style
21 Mar 2003	Samael	Loading... At first I was wondering where my comment was, and why the other comments were different... then I realized, this is the poem, not the story! But it is a good poem, spelling errors aside, and creates that same curious anticipation to know what happens next.
2 Aug 2004	Katherine Potapova	Loading... Again, great atmosphere. I love how it flows. And, of course, great picture.

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About 'Merciless':

• Status: OK
• Created by:

Laura Skylie Engler
• Copyright: ©Laura Skylie Engler. All rights reserved!

• Keywords: Poem, Killing, Women, Forest
• Views: 192

More by 'Laura Skylie Engler':

Prologue: Weekly Evaluation	The Truth and Lies of a Body in the Snow	Swing
The Flight of the Night Owl	Swing	Hederrik
Merciless	Becoming	Chapter One: Adah

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