| 19 Jan 2003 |  Dora E Gonzalez |  Loading...speechless and yet rividing with feedback I can not place in words. Love it, very touching!!! *tear* | |
| 16 Feb 2003 |  Eric 'Gaarvalf' Forgeot | Loading... I liked the picture, and now I enjoy the poem as well...
Yes, it seems now only "small" people can appreciate the glory of ancient times... | |
| 3 Mar 2003 | Lindsey Butler | Loading... I think this would be such an excellent beginning to an actual story. Couldn't we hear one of the stories he tells the squirrels? I'm always getting after people for making good things too short, and this wins an award. More! Please...  Laura Skylie Engler replies: "What an excellent idea! I'll definately get to work on something like that! I have some ideas manifesting in my head right now! Although I do like the fact that having it this short earns me an award...don't get much of those. And the shortness also has it's benefits, too, because it asks the reader to use their own imaginations in creating a story for him..." | |
| 4 Mar 2003 |  Carla K. Anderson | Loading... I love the cant and lilt to the words and syllables... very beautiful, and it sets off the picture as well... | |
| 4 Mar 2003 |  Emilie Aurora Finn | Loading... I agree with Lindsey. It would be fun to become a squirrel and hear one of this old man's stories. That said, though, this does stand alone. You have managed to convey an entire story, complete with mood, description, characterization and plot, in one paragraph. I loved it! | |
| 7 Mar 2003 |  Sarah Hudson | Loading... This is very touching. moreso because it's short. I like how you repeat the word "ancient" it really drives home that he's past his prime and that all he has left are his memories. and the part about his life being so far away it may be legend. Reminds me of those stories where the hero is still around but is old and all the people tell stories about him and don't realize he's the one who did the heroic deeds. then again, maybe the knight is getting senile and the stories he's telling the squirrel ARE legend and never really happened... hmmm.... makes a person think about how much truth is in the stories they tell to the "squirrels"..... | |
| 9 Mar 2003 | Pelv13 | Loading... Umm... good diction and canter... applies well to the picture... have you considered a children's book... this would be a decent begining... the word ancient is over used for something targeted at older readers but will drive the point home for little peoples... hey look, i was actually nice... hmmm... Laura Skylie Engler replies: "I heavily disagree that it's overused. I've always felt that repition of a word is a good tool to drive something home to anyone. but to each his own. And don't be nice. let it all loose. if you think something is not good, let me know, yeesh. jst let me know why, that's all I ask." | |
| 21 Mar 2003 | Samael | Loading... Ah, an interesting poem. The repeated use of the word "ancient" reminds me of an alliteration. The picture is quite appropriate, props to both James and yourself. | |
| 12 Aug 2003 | John Teall | Loading... That is so sweet and i have so been there, though my tales are not of swords nor am i yet that ancient.
=^^=
.../\... | |
| 20 Sep 2003 | Miisuna | Loading... awww, that's so sad... but it would be fun to be a squirrel to hear the tales... It's incredible by itself, though; like Emilie said, you have managed to convey an entire story, complete with mood, description, characterization and plot, in one paragraph. hmph... I have quite a few more thoughts on this (all good and nothing you should change, I promise!) But I am not being good with words tonight. *sigh* maybe tomorrow.  | |
A.R. George
Amanda B. Melheim
S. B. 'Kinko' Hulsey