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Daniel Blishen

"Thrall Song" by Daniel Blishen

SciFi/Fantasy text 3 out of 3 by Daniel Blishen.      ←Previous - Next→
 
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A traditional working song of the canine slaves of the 'Down' universe. Heard most often by thralls working hard labour.
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←- Down - Part Two: Emilie | Down - Part One: Maximillian's Anecdote -→


"Traditional Thrall Working Chant"

So they
Break our backs to build their homes,
And crush our arms with heavy stones
And if a thrall should fail or moan
They'll sell his pelt and eat his bones.

And we
Cook this food but do not eat,
And wash these sheets but do not sleep
And raise this house but live not there
So master might have time to spare.


So they
Give us not four hours' rest
And pile tasks upon our chests
And act refined to all their guests
But thrash us with their leather best.

And we
Wait our time to knock them down
And flatten master's tinpot crown
And shred his wife's most precious gown
To make the flags for our old town.

←- Down - Part Two: Emilie | Down - Part One: Maximillian's Anecdote -→

DateNameComment 
13 Sep 2003:-) Anna Katheryn Smith
You know, I really, really do like this, and I'm glad I didn't just read the longer work and go from there. The rhythm is consistent and the rhyming not only works, but flows really well. I can almost hear the staggered strike of sledgehammers after the first few words sound on the lifting, and the initial words of each verse would be the 'head thrall' calling out the signal to swing the hammers around for the next hoist. I think this is excellent.

2 Daniel Blishen replies: "Many thanks for your comments. You've actually hit the nail right on the head with your intepretation; the first line is very much meant to be a pause before starting work again - my only regret is that I didn't make each stanza longer, as the bursts of "work" are a little bit short at present.Thanks again for your comment! I'll be off to take a look at your page now. 2"
25 Nov 2003:-) Paul J. Townsend
Hey, I've song that song at my old job.hahahaha......that was a joke, really, it was.
5 Apr 2004:-) Alyssa M. Korsmoe
I love it! They have a spirit so strong nothing can match it. Wouldn't they get in trouble for singing a song like this though?
Keep updating!
25 Dec 200645 Anonymous
I like this poem, it's very well written. I like to hope that these thralls are wise enough to not actually sing this song. If their master heard, they'd lose a head.
17 Dec 200745 Aara
I really liked the beat in the words. It had me literally tapping my foot...
13 Apr 200845 Sairey
Stunning ;3
Smooth, and I swear I can hear them chanting away, with that little flame of hope in them 18
27 Apr 2008:-) Leah Ferne Reed
Wow! This is great. Too bad Helen Kirkman didn’t hear of this when she wrote Forbidden...lol 2
15 May 2008:-) Travis James Gray
This just flowed so well that i couldn’t help but read out loud. I could very nearly hear the grunt of the thralls that work all day with not nearly enough sleep. I like the first line of each stanza how it’s just a slight pause before they go into their work(like a student sighing before taking a test). I love it best when they show that they still have that hope of overthrowing their masters and reclaiming what was theirs. Brilliant!
2 Aug 200845 Squishy
If their spirit is strong they can be freed, work makes them stronger than their lazy masters
3 Mar 2009:-) Edmund J Schulfer
Wow that was awsome. You speak from the point of view of the good people, the fariy folk who have been known to serve in the homes of humans. It seems though that these ones are not well apprieicated, so they are buying their time to reek havoc. What a day of chaos and merryment to come!
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'Thrall Song':
 • Created by: :-) Daniel Blishen
 • Copyright: ©Daniel Blishen. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Chant, Chats, Poem, Rebellion, Slave, Working
 • Categories: Fights, Duels, Battles, Lycanthrope, Were-folk, etc, Magic and Sorcery, Spells, etc., Mythical Creatures & Assorted Monsters
 • Views: 1082

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More by 'Daniel Blishen':
 Down - Part Two: Emilie
Down - Part One: Maximillian's Anecdote

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