"Meridian Journal - Entry 02" by Emily Graham

April 8, 2006

“Why are you helping me?” was pretty much the first thing out of my mouth on my second morning in Meridia.  I was so beyond relieved that Garren hadn’t abandoned me in the middle of the night but it had really settled in that it was weird for him to just show up and help me.

“Good morning to you too,” he said with a smile.  There were some birds cooking over the rekindled fire and I had a cloak draped over me like a blanket that hadn’t been there when I fell asleep.

I blushed.  I know, it was very rude to just blurt that out but I was still half asleep, confused and he really was more gorgeous than I’d noticed the day before.  I’ve always been a little plump, or even chubby.  Not fat, but I’m not thin either and I felt overweight in this place where people were either thin from lack of food or thin because they were so fit.  Garren was fit.

I felt ugly next to this man who’d come in like a knight in shining armor, a very hot knight in shining armor who’d managed to wash himself even though I didn’t see any water anywhere.

In contrast, I was muddy, smelly, my clothing was torn and, touching a sore throat, I realized that I hadn’t washed the blood off from the day before.  My necklace was covered in it and I quickly licked my thumb and rubbed it clean. 

I sneezed, my throat hurting inside and out, and I was hungry again.  Watching me, Garren passed over some food and let me eat half of it before answering.

“My family has been picked off over the years because of this war.  I want it to end more than almost anyone else but nothing I do has been able to stop the fighting.”

“What could you do?”  I asked with my mouth full. 

“Whatever I can.  I’ve tried talking to both sides, I’ve tried arranging a truce, but nothing’s worked.”

“The two sides hate each other that much?  Wouldn’t they want an end to the fighting, too?”

Shrugging, he threw some twigs into the fire, watching them catch and crackle.  “The king wants to remove any opposition.  He won’t stop fighting until he’s either won or died.”

“So you want me to push the war to one side or another?”  He nodded.  “Which side do you want to win?”

His laugh was deep and rich.  “Should you be asking me that?  I’m biased.”

“I don’t know anything about this war.  A biased opinion is better than no opinion, don’t you think?”

“You want to know about the war now?”

I blushed again (I need to learn how not to blush) and shrugged, lowering my eyes to look at the bits of meat still clinging to the stick I held.  “I might as well.”

“In consideration to your lack of interest, I’ll condense it to: the king had a younger twin brother who tried to take the throne.  Now the two sides of the family are fighting until one line is gone.”

“And your family?”

His jaw clenched.  “I only have a five-year-old half-sister left and I want to make sure she isn’t taken from me too.”

“So, which side do you want to win?”

“I just want it to end, but the King has the right to the throne so I guess if I had to choose, I’d support him.”

I picked some of the bark off of the stick.  I was starting to care, and I didn’t want to care.  It wasn’t just a war if I knew someone suffering because of it.  All I wanted to do was to go home.  I told myself that a few times before looking up.  “How far to this guy who knows about the key?”

Garren stood, kicking dirt onto the fire.  “A few hours’ walk and we should be there, but it’s not certain that he knows something about the key, just that he’s related to a traveler.”

“I know.”  I stood, or at least attempted to, but the pain from all the running I’d done the day before made me fall back onto my butt.  Groaning, I did manage to climb to my feet.  When I tried to give him back his cloak, again blushing furiously, he told me to keep it since I probably could do with more clothes on.

Is it still called blushing when your face is like a cherry?  It seems like too mild a word. 

We were just setting out when something swooped down from above and I ducked, covering my head in case it was a bat, but when I looked up, I saw a hawk resting on Garren’s shoulder.  And again this gorgeous man was laughing at me.  I tried not to think about it as we headed out, but there wasn’t much to distract me other than the pain in my legs and my sneezing, two other things I also wanted to forget about.  Within a few hours, I really wanted some cough drops but good luck finding a pharmacy in the middle of grasslands.  Altogether, it wasn’t a very pleasant walk.

I expected Garren to try and push me into helping end the war, but he let me pick the conversation, so I just asked about different things in Meridia, and, eventually, about magic.

Telling him about the way I’d pushed off the men earlier brought a nod and he told me about how it was like an unused muscle that would get stronger.  I tried a couple of times to do something, anything that wasn’t normal and I did manage to blow some grass over (such a minor thing made me so happy, I’m embarrassed thinking about it) but nothing else.  Garren said that he didn’t have any ability in magic when I asked him to help me so I guess I’ll have to figure it out myself or else find someone willing to give me some pointers.

We stopped for a break around noon and I was handed some bread he had with him.  When we headed out again, the hawk was gone and Garren was more talkative.

The sun was only a bit above the horizon when another bundle of houses came into view.  “There’re some different buildings here.  You don’t all live in dirty little huts?”

Garren laughed and shook his head.  “As you move further north, the cities get bigger and so do the buildings.  Once you get to the hills, most of the houses are built of stone and solid wood, not these little homes that you find out here near the border.”

I pulled the cloak closer around me to hide my bare arms.  The first chance I got, I was totally planning to get some ‘normal’ clothes, especially if we were moving north.  My clothes were starting to look tattered and they were too different from what everyone else was wearing.

“Do you know which house is his?” I asked.

Pulling a dagger from his waist, Garren pushed it into my hand.  “No.  Stay here and I’ll ask someone.”

“Don’t—“ I started, my heart in my throat.

He held my hand closed over the hilt.  “Just sit and stay hidden in the grass.  No one will see you.  I’ll be back in a few minutes.”  When I opened my mouth, he squeezed my hand.  “I’m not leaving you.  I said I’d help you, and I will.”  I licked my lips and nodded.  My heart didn’t settle down but I did sit, grasping the dagger to my chest and watching with wide eyes as Garren walked out onto the dirt road and disappeared among the huts.

I cursed myself for being such a coward but couldn’t bring myself to regret what I’d done.  Garren was the only person I knew and the only one willing to help when I was in trouble.  I pulled the cloak tightly around myself and watched, waiting for him to reappear.

I know it couldn’t have taken as long as it seemed, but Garren did finally come back and gestured for me to follow him.  I jogged to catch up.  “Did you find him?”

“Yes.”  He pointed to one of the huts.  “Do you want me to go in alone?”

I shook my head.  “This is my problem and I want to know how to fix it.  Besides, you might lie to make me stay and fix your war.”  He looked so offended that I grabbed his arm.  “I’m just kidding, I’m sorry.  You take things too seriously.”

“I don’t know what it’s like for the people you’re used to, but anyone with any amount of self-respect wouldn’t lie about something so important to you.”

“I’m sorry.”  I’d really fudged things up but didn’t get a chance to keep apologizing since Garren walked up to the door and knocked.  A little bit of warning to get myself ready would have been nice, but I wasn’t given that and in moments there was a man standing in the open doorway.

And was he ever old.

I don’t know if it was because I’d heard he was the grandson of the other traveler, but I’d thought he’d be my age or something.  Of course, Garren had said that the traveler had been here over a hundred years before, but the word ‘grandson’ equaled ‘young’ in my head.

Jaw clenched and not looking at me, Garren entered the hut and, after a moment to arrange the cloak around myself to hide my bared arms, I followed him.

Sneezing in the stale and musky air didn’t endear me to the elderly man.  He backed away, pulling into the shadows near the tiny fireplace and I apologized, rubbing my nose.

“Just take what you want and get out,” he rasped.

Looking around, I couldn’t see what he thought we’d take; there wasn’t much more than a table, two chairs and a couple of pieces of cloth that might have been clothes or might have been blankets. 

“We’d like to ask you about your grandfather,” Garren said, holding his hands open at his side.

“Never met him.”

“Where did he go?” I asked and sneezed again.  How could he live in this place?  It stunk!

“Don’t know.  Why do you care?  You looking to walk the worlds?”

“Walk the worlds?” 

“You’re looking for a way to pass beyond Meridia, aren’t you?”  He took a step towards me and I pulled back.  “You look strange, girl.  Maybe you’ve already walked?”

“I want to know how to get home.  Your grandfather came from Earth, didn’t he?  I just want to know where the key is.”

He moved slowly past me, peering at my clothes as he passed, and sat at the table.  After a moment, I sat across from him and tried not to gag at the smell.  At least he didn’t seem so on guard any more, but I’d have preferred if he stayed in the corner, far away from me and my nose.  “Like I said: I never met him.  He disappeared not long after my father was born.  Don’t know where he came from, don’t know where he went and I don’t really care.”

“Do you know how he got back?”

“You sure he did?  I always figured he just ran off, but I learned something about world walkers a few years back, so I suppose it’s possible he really went somewhere else.”

I sat back.  It wasn’t an appealing thought at all that there might not be a way back, but I shook my head.  Had to stay positive.  The thought that maybe there wasn’t a key at all hadn’t occurred to me.  I mean, I’d gotten here, hadn’t I?  There had to be a way to get back.  Doors didn’t work in just one direction.  “The key?  I know there’s a key somewhere.  Do you know anything about it?”

“What key could open a door you can’t see?”

“You’re not helping, you know!” I snapped and Garren put a hand on my shoulder.  This man was the only link I had right now and getting him angry wasn’t going to work in my favor.

He smiled and slumped his shoulders, leaning back.  “I don’t know where the key is or what it looks like.  My father used to tell me stories from my grandmother, about how the lock was a book and the door was a forest, so what the key looks like, I can’t even imagine.”

“But he was here, right?  We’re not far from the forest, so he must have been here with his wife and your father just before he left.”

“Don’t know, just know I’ve lived here all my life.”

“Did she ever say where the key was.”

His water eyes stared at me and I suddenly felt like I didn’t want to hear the answer.  “There’s a cave in the hills, a big cave a few days’ ride from here.  Ever heard of dragons hoarding treasure?  Nice place for a dragon, if you ask me.”

“I wasn’t asking,” I mumbled and looked over my shoulder at Garren.  “There are dragons here?” I whispered, half afraid, half wondering if I was nuts to even consider the possibility.

“A few, here and there.”

“Here and there, and I guess there is where we’re going?”

I jumped when the old man laughed.  “No offense to you walkers, girl, but I don’t think you could take on a dragon, even if my grandmother was telling the truth.  They like their treasure and I’d think a key to another world would be pretty valuable.  You won’t get in very easily.”

“Your vote of confidence is sure making me feel great about this,” I snapped back and bit my lip.  “Let’s say this is true, and I’m probably completely off my rocker for even considering it: where’s the cave?  You said a few days ride, but in which direction?”

He was still smiling.  “East, mostly.  Near the mountains the land starts to get bumpy.  Don’t know any more than that, but the towns in the area probably would.”

I pushed back my chair and stood up.  “Thanks.”  With that, I headed for the door; I’d heard enough to know where I was going and the smell was killing me.  Glancing back as I stepped outside, I saw Garren pull something shiny from a pack at his waist and lay it on the table.  The man snapped it up and Garren followed me out of the hut.

“You paid him, didn’t you?” I asked.  “You paid him for some story about a dragon?”

“Not having seen a dragon, I can’t say whether or not they’re real, but we might as well head east.  Even if there’s no dragon, it’s likely his grandfather was around the area when he found the key.”

“So you think he made up the dragon story to look all brave and warrior-like?”

“He could have, but we won’t know until we get there.”

And to top it all off, right then and there, it started to rain.  It doesn’t get much more miserable than having a cold, in the rain, after being told a crazy story about fighting dragons that might actually turn out to be true.  “Maybe it’s just a small dragon,” I whispered, but Garren heard me and laughed.

“No one ever said we had to fight the dragon.  If there is one, we could just sneak in, find the key and sneak out.  Stories always say that dragons sleep for long periods of time, or maybe it won’t even be home.”

“Or maybe it’s not real and we’re off on a wild goose chase.”

We headed out of the village and back into the grass heading away from the setting sun.  All that lovely grass that hid all kinds of animals, like snakes.  I hate snakes.  I saw a few snakes and it took every ounce of courage I had to keep going.  I was heading off to possibly see a dragon and I was paranoid about snakes.  That should have been the least of my worries.

Out in the middle of nowhere Garren set up another fire and caught us another meal.  I started to feel guilty about not having anything to pay him with, especially since I had no intention of staying here to stop his war, but I was so glad he was with me.  I’d have probably starved to death already if he hadn’t found me.

So here I am and I don’t even know why I’m writing in this thing again but I think it’s helping me organize my thoughts, helping me deal with this like it’s real even if this all turns out to be some wacky dream.  I guess I’ll just have to assume it’s all happening because questioning everything’s very existence is getting tiring, and I think this will become easier if I act like it’s normal, like it’s real.

Next task: finding horses.  Garren said we need to get some mounts in order to move more quickly and I was so beyond glad when he said it.  Where we’re going to get any horses is beyond me since I’ve only seen a few farm horses in the grass near the villages and I’m guessing the people need them, but he said we should be coming to a town soon.  A real town, with an inn and a stable where we might be able to get horses.

I’ve never ridden a horse before, but I always wanted to try, and walking is so exhausting.  My legs are sorer than they’ve ever been in my life.  Horses sound really good right about now.