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Sophie ´Photosoph´ Matthews / Text 1 of 7 / Dwarf Drinking Song
"Dwarf Drinking Song" by Sophie ´Photosoph´ Matthews
SF&F Picture 1 out of 7 by Sophie ´Photosoph´ Matthews
| Whether you do, or don't like Dwarves, I'm sure you'll find this funny. Note: the spelling is intentional. |
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Titled:
We're Miners, not Minors.
Or:
Very Bad Dwarven Poetry Which Is Not Surprising As This Happens To Be A Song.
Deep in the mountains where the earth is gold,
And people need their beards because it is so cold,
We dwarfs live, so it is told,
And savagely crack rocks with cries of 'GOLD GOLD GOLD!'
No one ever tells you that our hair goes green,
In the moist dark caverns that no man has seen,
Cracking rocks all day should make a guy lean,
But an appetite for ale gives us beer-guts mean.
Many men complain of the dwarfy smell,
I won't say too much of that -just don't sniff well,
We may be short, but our axe strikes well,
Whether to find shiny stone or make you yell.
We're Miners, not Minors.
Or:
Very Bad Dwarven Poetry Which Is Not Surprising As This Happens To Be A Song.
Yo ho ho, and a bottle of rum!
Make it ale, and we'll all have sum!
We know pirates say it when the dusk is come,
-But yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!"
Deep in the mountains where the earth is gold,
And people need their beards because it is so cold,
We dwarfs live, so it is told,
And savagely crack rocks with cries of 'GOLD GOLD GOLD!'
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
Make it stronger, and we'll all have sum!
We look like mini versions of Atilla-the-Hun,
-But yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
No one ever tells you that our hair goes green,
In the moist dark caverns that no man has seen,
Cracking rocks all day should make a guy lean,
But an appetite for ale gives us beer-guts mean.
Yo ho ho, and a bottle of rum,
I will take whatever drink wherever it come,
Wait -I saw you spit in that don't give me one!
-But yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Many men complain of the dwarfy smell,
I won't say too much of that -just don't sniff well,
We may be short, but our axe strikes well,
Whether to find shiny stone or make you yell.
Yo ho ho, and a bottle of rum!
We'll drink ourselves silly 'til we weigh a tonne,
It gets kind of confusing between man and wo-mun,
-But yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
Notice: all similarities between actual living people and those suggested in this song is completely accidental.
←- What the Room holds | Gon' Fishin -→
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About 'Dwarf Drinking Song':
• Status: OK
• Created by:
Sophie ´Photosoph´ Matthews• Copyright: ©Sophie ´Photosoph´ Matthews. All rights reserved!
• Keywords: Drinks drinking dwarf dwarves so, Humourous fun funny laugh laughs
• Categories: Humourous or Cute Things, Dwarf, Dwarves
• Views: 571
More by 'Sophie ´Photosoph´ Matthews':
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