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Pedestal Guy

"Jim the Immortal Goat" by Pedestal Guy

SciFi/Fantasy text 6 out of 10 by Pedestal Guy.      ←Previous - Next→
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Jim the goat becomes immortal
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←- Magic Parasite 2, Jim 3 | Magic Parasite -→
Jim sat in his field, soaked in the sun, and enjoyed a nice mid-morning snack.

Jim was a goat.

He had always been a goat, as that sort of thing rarely changes, and he enjoyed his life in his big field of flowers. He didn’t have a care in the world. He had all the food he could ever want, a babbling brook for when he got thirsty, and just over the ridge was a farm, for whenever he wanted to see a lady goat.

Life was good for Jim, when something happened.

Jim was having a normal carefree day when out of nowhere, a ball of energy appeared and a young mage fell out of it.

“Whoa! That was sweet!” said the mage, who was not yet a true mage, but only an apprentice. Then, upon inspecting his position, he exclaimed, “Now where am I?”

Jim said nothing, but stared dumbfounded at the mage. This is not surprising, as goats aren’t particularly smart to begin with, they don’t talk, and people popping out of thin air is not a exactly an everyday thing.

The apprentice, unfazed by the lack of a response to his question, continued to interrogate his new surroundings.

“This is a pretty nice place. I wonder who owns all these fields. Is that smoke? There must be a village or something over there.” And with that he went off in the direction of the farm.

Jim watched him go, and seeing that everything had returned to normal, went back to eating.

Suddenly, another energy ball appeared, only this time, it appeared around Jim. Jim was notably agitated at this and justifiably so. He also wasn’t too keen on the clocks, cars, phone booths, and other miscellaneous debris that were whizzing by him.

Then, he stopped.

He was in the center of a large room, standing on some sort of platform under a large stalactite with a variety of arcane symbols written on it. A dwarf, standing behind a control panel, turned to his right and whispered to a tall sage looking elf in long flowing robes, “That’s not Nhoj.”

“It appears that way,” said the elf, “Why not.”

“I don’t know,” the dwarf replied, “This was the only living thing within a mile of the place, besides the grass. That little pyro must have wandered off.”

“Well, I shall have to inform our employer,” said the elf, and with that he walked out of the room.

The dwarf resigned himself to fiddling around under the control panel.

Jim was confused. As he saw no immediate danger, he did what he usually did when he was confused. He went to sleep.

When he woke up, he was refreshed and, after mulling it over in his sleep, reached the firm conclusion that this was not his field.

It lacked the flowers and grass of his field; the brook was nowhere in sight, and what sparse light there was, was definitely not his sun. He also held serious doubts that there was a farm over the ridge, because of the marked absence of a ridge.

This realized; he came to the startling revelation that he was hungry and there were no flowers or in fact any greenery at all.

In his search for foliage, he went over to where the dwarf had been when he went to sleep. There he found some wires and as they were the closest approximation to his standard snacking material he had seen since waking up, he began chewing through the wires. This was not good for the wires, and soon proved to be equally bad for the goat. Mouths are wet for the most part, and being so moisture inclined, they are adequate conductors. Adequate to fill the gap in a circuit recently broken by teeth, which also happen to reside in said mouth.

At this point, the author feels the need to digress a moment and discuss some of the properties of magic.

Magic, being a form of energy, can be neither destroyed nor created; only transferred. This transference can be in the shape of a spell, the release of magic from a living entity as it dies, the utilization and reformation of magic within a living entity, or as the motion of magic as a wave or beam while in a constant state. The latter of these transferences is very similar to the activity of a bolt of electricity, and while in this state, magic has many of the same properties. Whereas electricity passes through metal, which has readily available electrons, magic passes through wood or other organic matter with relative ease. They will both travel through air if concentrated enough, and will both really hurt if they shock you. The only difference is that electricity makes you convulse and die, while magic’s effects are much more interesting.

Jim found this out first hand, or, rather, first mouth.

In his case the sudden rush of magic granted to him immortality, invulnerability, and immunity to all ailments but thirst, hunger, and pain. At that particular moment, Jim very much regretted his susceptibility to pain. If not for his immortality, he would have been very much dead.

Upon returning and finding a smoldering goat under the controls, the dwarf quickly cut power and removed the wires from the unconscious goat’s jaws. He then fixed the machine as quickly as he could and sent Jim back to his field, hoping that PETA had not witnessed the incident.

Jim awoke to see the cloud of smoke coming from the farm was a little more immense then usual but everything seemed in order

Jim sat in his field, soaked in the sun, and enjoyed a nice mid-morning snack.

←- Magic Parasite 2, Jim 3 | Magic Parasite -→

28 Aug 2004:-) Anson Dean Brehmer
1 Me likey. Very interesting take on magic, animals, and immortality in general. Jim's so neat, even if he is just a goat who really doesn't understand much more than hunger, sleep, and the odd sensation that he is not, in fact, where he was before. I really liked the practicality you conveyed with Jim. Jim just doesn't care unless its something he SHOULD care about...immediate responses to immediate problems. Fun stuff.That's a goat for you.
5 Oct 2004:-) Erin K. Luce
Ah, the goat. Goats, I fear, are too seldom represented accurately in stories, but reading this was a refreshing change. I too love the way Jim doesn't seem to care that he's now immortal and immune and invulnerable and just wants to eat flowers. I also like the very scientific way in which you explained the magic – also refreshing. Lovely story. Well done!As I have said before, even fantasy should be believable.
15 Oct 200445 Erin 'Fae Fiddler' Anderson
Goats are wonderful, aren't they? Not exactly the most social or intelligent creatures but... Well, they're cute! I know everyone has said this ten times over, but, your Jim is a pretty accurately portrayed goat, magic or no. I love the sense "Hey, I'm not there anymore... Hmmm... that's a bit annoying. Oh well." Excellent, really it is! Onto Part TWO!I am now going to change the tag on that story to say, "DO NOT READ THIS!!! IT IS BAD WRITING AND NOT IN THE GOOD WAY!!!"
2 Dec 2004:-) Rachel 'Arrowfire' Morgan
Good story! Jim's personality was perfect! If you want to know goats are a typical two year old. They love to nibble on everything! They don't eat everything, they just nibble. I liked this story a lot.

:-) Pedestal Guy replies: "My first non-mainpage comment with the new font...
Nibble is an amusing word but I must warn you that you on my site I have rules about colored links and you are pushing it with two different colors. This is your only warning."
7 Dec 2004:-) Ray Valen

:-) Pedestal Guy replies: "That was quite light-hearted indeed! I like Jim.
The little explenation about magic/electricity stood out a bit though as being completely different. But this was fun. Very fun. Say Hi to Jim for me.
Only problem was that there was no full stop at the end of the second last paragraph. That is all. I'll have to look at that."
12 May 200545 Alexandra Jeanne Savoy - Knitter
I like this! It is funny and light...and it held my attention, a quality that most things don't. 2 I love how you explained how the magic worked. Usually people just say, in similar cases, that it was a 'backfired spell' or something. It was nice to actually get a plausible explanation. x) Anyway, I also like the style in which this was told. Great job! You are my first commenter for some time and I don't know when because I have been away from the internet for about 2 months now. Thanks for reading. If you liked this don't read the sequel, it will ruin it for you.
9 Oct 2005:-) Andis
I did enjoy this. I've never been able to write anything humorous or light like this, being a concrete sequential.
I used to have goats...

:-) Pedestal Guy replies: "Usualy I respond quicker but I haven't had any front page comments for such a long time and you only posted on the stories and I only recently got any comments at all and now I have to go check all my stories for comments and I see that you have a constant responce color on your site so you get one here too and now to finnish this responce with flair.Flair "
9 Sep 2006:-) Frances Monro
I read this title as "Jim the Immortal _Ghost._" Which would be a different story.

:-) Pedestal Guy replies: "It's hard for a ghost to be immortal since it's already dead. In my opinion goats are easier to write for. They both have very simplistic drives, ghosts with the whole being dead thing and goats with the whole being alive thing. However, goats don't haunt places. "
20 Oct 2008:-) Heidi Hecht
LOL...This is pretty funny. Especially the end. An immortal goat is still a goat, I guess.

:-) Pedestal Guy replies: "This seems like a classic case of "I wrote it in high school and although it’s horrible I like the character." Everyone who would read a story like this likes Jim, let alone people who would write a story like this."
4 Jan 2010:-) Chris King
I liked this piece. The tone was consistent throughout and the action moved the story forward at a good pace. I think the subject of the story matched the light tone of the language quite well. As I find quite often with my own writing, this chapter could benefit from some editing, but overall the writing was solid. I am very curious about where this story will lead--writing from a goat’s perspective is certainly unique!

:-) Pedestal Guy replies: "Sadly, the story didn’t lead anywhere interesting. As is too often the case, the idea was better then my attempts to follow through with it.
I can easily handle writing for Jim (there’s very little dialogue), and the descriptions of how magic works also come quite easily. The problem is that once you write a goats origin story, you aren’t given much material with which to write a follow up."
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'Jim the Immortal Goat':
 • Created by: :-) Pedestal Guy
 • Copyright: ©Pedestal Guy. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Goat, Humor, Imortality, Magic, Phisics, Teleportation
 • Categories: Elf / Elves, Humourous or Cute Things, Magic and Sorcery, Spells, etc., Dwarf, Dwarves, Celtic
 • Views: 597

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