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Anna starlonia Young

"Chapter three: Daring Rebels" by Anna starlonia Young

SciFi/Fantasy text 6 out of 10 by Anna starlonia Young.      ←Previous - Next→
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 This is the third chapter of my story (again title ideas are welcome). I looked edited it from the original version (right now I'm going over my entire story that I've written so far) so hopefully there aren't too many errors. As always I'd love to hear anything and everything that you have to say! Comments, criticisms, everything is welcome! I know that I'm introducing yet another set of characters and that some of you have mentioned that this is going a bit fast; don't worry, I'm considering this and working on it! Alright, well, enjoy!

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←- Chapter six: The Landing | Magic Glitter -→

               “Hey! Archen wait for me!” A girl with long blue hair called to a boy who was running about three yards in front of her. The girl sprinted and then leaped into the air. Instead of just landing a couple of feet from the place she jumped, the girl glided through the air and landed just behind the boy. They both stopped. The boy turned around to face the girl. “Thanks for waiting Arch.” The girl panted.

“No problem.” Archen replied grinning. He had very light blonde hair that was cut short. His big blue eyes searched the girl’s face. Then he started to laugh. His laugh sounded like wind chimes being blown. The girl started to laugh as well. Then Archen asked, “Are you sure that you want to do this, Aria? Because you don’t have to if you don’t want to, I can do it alone.”

“No way! I’m coming with you!” Aria shouted loudly.

“Ssssshhh! You don’t want to get caught do you?” Archen whispered urgently, quickly glancing around at the endless expanse of barren gray cloud around them.

 “Sorry.” Aria whispered back.

“It’s okay, let’s go.” Archen said, turning around again he started to sprint away, Aria close at his heels.

After five minutes of dead sprint, they stopped to rest. “So how far down do you want to go?” asked Aria panting.

“I want to go far enough down to see the other Realms.” Archen replied in a firm voice.

“If you say so.” Aria shrugged reluctantly. They started to run again.


Finally they were able to see where the white fluffy cloud they were running on stopped and only the light blue sky remained. Archen paused and turned to Aria, “Ready? We should do it fast because otherwise one of us might stop. All we have to do is run toward the edge of the cloud and when we get to the end, jump!”

Aria had a scared look on her face, but she quickly changed it to what she hoped was a brave expression, and asked, “That’s all we have to do?” Archen looked his best friend over slowly, opened his mouth as if to say something, paused and closed it again.           

 Then he said, “Well, let’s go.” They ran toward the end of the cloud, when they reached the edge they both took huge leaps into the air. They glided through the endless sky, until they started to drift downward about fifteen yards from the edge of the cloud. As their speed increased so did Aria’s fear. What if she forgot to fly? What if she remembered to fly, but she forgot how to? Or what if she just couldn’t fly for whatever reason and she ended up falling into one of the other Realms? If the fall for some reason didn’t kill her, she was sure that the people in the Realm she fell into would. When Aria was all but panicking, she heard Archen’s voice; Aria’s fear must have showed on her face because Archen’s voice was unusually gentle.

“Aria, it’s all right, just close your eyes and imagine yourself floating upwards.” Aria did what she was told; she took a deep breath and tried to relax. The wind rushed past her face and tore through her hair. She looked away from the big blue, green and brown mass that came closer at a dizzying speed, and closed her eyes. She tried to forget about the wind, and the other realms, she focused on herself, in the air, floating gently. It was calm and relaxing and…and she was doing it! She was flying!

“Good job!” Archen shouted from right below Aria. Now over her fear, Aria felt a rush of energy and swooped down and spun around a laughing Archen. “Come on, let’s go lower.” Archen urged and began a fast descent. Aria sped after him.


            Archen and Aria swooped and spun. They laughed and raced. Soon they were low enough to see what was on the ground far beneath them. “Look!” shouted Aria “There’s the Earth Realm, and there, no, over there is the Water Realm and oh! Archen! Look over there! It’s the Fire Realm! See it, way off by the horizon?” Archen felt as excited as Aria sounded. It was their first ever time out of the Air Realm. And sure they had already done a ton of other awesome things that would have gotten them into huge trouble if they had been caught. But now, now they were truly rebels, now they could be sentenced to death if they were caught.

Death. It hadn’t really crossed Archen’s mind that they could be killed if they were caught. That realization scared Archen. And the image of Aria’s limp, cold, lifeless body that flashed through his mind scared him even more. It startled him so much that he didn’t realize that he was falling closer and closer to the Land Realm.

“Archen!” Aria screamed. Archen jumped, startled out of his thoughts. He was surprised to see that he had stopped flying and was now falling with incredible speed toward his most certain death.

←- Chapter six: The Landing | Magic Glitter -→

2 May 2010:-) Silvannen Mystic Dragonrider Gerrard
*First comment aeiral dance!*
Again, this is good, and I really like where you left it...such suspence! ^_^
Perhaps you could add some more description of the other Realms that Aria and Archen see. For example: can they see any landmarks of the other Realms? Or is the colour of the sky different over the other Realms? I think that it would make it even better and help paint the picture of the Realms, but it is entirely up to you!
Anyway, I’m off to read the next part, whilst I still have a little bit of time! ^_^

:-) Anna starlonia Young replies: "As always thank you for commenting! I agree, and I have realized that I really need to work on my detail and description (among other things) in my writing. As I am going through this story (I am working to edit all that I have written so far) I will for sure add more detail and description. Thanks again! 2"
28 Jul 2010:-) Ruth laura david
nooooo, hmm i hope he doesn’t die :/ really really good once again, you’ve kept me wanting more 1 do the people of the wind realm have wings or can they just fly? maybe magically?

:-) Anna starlonia Young replies: "haha, I’m glad you are getting into the story! 2 I’ve been thinking about whether the Air Realm people should have wings or if they should just be able to fly...I’m thinking that they are just able to fly, the reason why I decided that will come later in the book...or perhaps in the sequel...I have big plans for this story/series!"
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'Chapter three: Daring Rebels':
 • Created by: :-) Anna starlonia Young
 • Copyright: ©Anna starlonia Young. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Breaking, Clouds, Experience, Flying, Laws, Magic, New, Realm, Realms, Rule, Sky
 • Categories: Dream Imagery, Superheroes, Supervillains, Super Powers, History-based, Parallel or Alternate Reality/Universe, Child, Children, Teens
 • Submitted: 2010-04-02 00:17:13
 • Views: 411

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