"Beyond the Seas" by David Michael

Hmm...and I too was curious about the captial in "Beyond" but as a poet, you have the right to take liberties. Though "Beyond the seas" seems like the title of a place, and that’s what I initially thought, failing to capitalize the S in "seas" made me think you were emphasizing the beyond aspect, thus making the whole idea of the place feel more ephemeral. It’s stuff like that that forces the reader to pause and wonder at exactly what the poet’s trying to say, so I say it’s a good thing. It’s up to you, of course.

David Michael replies: "Hm...you seem to think a little more along my lines than a lot of others do, as that was the purpose behind it. "Beyond" is almost a place unto itself, and the land the poem refers to, whence the Racon come, is indeed almost on the borders of reality, even for a fantasy world."

Even if the "meaning" of the poem seems to be to leave alone all those misteries it makes me wonder how they’ll be, so I think the final meaning of this one may be just to kindle the small flame of curiosity.

Great job, and excuse me if I’ve said something that it’s not quite correct: english it’s not my native language, so I may say/read some things the way they are not.

David Michael replies: "Yes, curiosity is indeed the primary purpose of this poem: curiosity, wonder, dreams...all that good stuff. And you are most certainly excused! I can understand you fine, but English is a crazy language anyway, even for us native-speakers. And honestly, foreign speakers of English tend to spell better than many native ones. *nods* ’Tis sad, but true."

I don’t nomrally read poems much, I have a few, but not on here... hmm... maybe I’ll try putting some up. Ahem, I digress.

Very nicely done. The wording, really the whole poem itself conveys good images. It makes me think of young adventurers and sailors laughing at the old man telling of his past and what horrors he found when he set out for treasure and glory. And then those same young folk no longer laughing as they find out what ’adventure’ is truly about. I look forward to the novel =)

David Michael replies: "Thank you. The novel is coming slowly, but pieces from it and that world will appear here eventually."

Nice poem here. You should edit the fourth line in the first stanza for grammar ("Reflect in the eyes of the twinkling men old" doesn’t make a lot of sense) otherwise I see no errors. I would love to read the novel.

David Michael replies: "Actually it does make sense, in a certain metaphoric-poetical sense. The tales are "reflecting" in the eyes of the men as they tell them, and to say the old men are "twinkling" is to imply a sense of wonder and whimsy in their eyes, words, and whole manner. Certainly you wouldn’t say it that way in normal prose, but grammatically it works. But thanks for dropping by! I’d love to read the novel, too. "

That is soooo cool, you poem is really painting a picture with words. Love it!

David Michael replies: "Why, thank you for dropping by!"

This is wonderful! I love the image you paint of the sea and the adventures beyond. I’ve written a novel about the ocean from the other side, one might say, and the adventures of going beyond the shore.

David Michael replies: "I took a gander at your page, and it does look like an interesting story. Afraid I’m not very good at keeping up with my online reading these days, but now that you have a comment here I can check back sometime to read it! Thanks for stopping in here, by the way. My shelf has been rather quiet lately. If you are particularly interested in the idea of the sea, you can also check out "Sea Far and Deep," which is a bit more interesting than this little verse."

this is so delightfully visual!! I keep seeing pictures appearing in my mind, and wonder if I’ll ever be able to do them justice in a real sketch---perhaps, someday. Dream away, sketch away...anyday.

either way, I thoroughly enjoyed it, and can easily see how it will fall nicely as a heading to a novel/story--so i am grateful to that introduction. Otherwise, as a stand alone poem, it is intriguing, but not as powerful, for the lack of context (for me, anyway) stands in the way of fulling grasping the intent or purpose of the poem. Were it to stand entirely on its own, I think I would hope that you might add to it--however, your comments towards a work-in-progress novel seem to adequately dismiss any need for this, so I am appeased *shy smile*

speaking of said novel: shall we be hearing more of this in coming times? I have a horribly crafty sense of curiousity (as you may have already noticed), and once it is piqued I find it almost impossible to give up..... So...give us a hint? *tries to be innocently cute, like a little kitten batting at your pages in hopes of getting her way*

...

of course...I’d hate to be annoying, so-- lovely poem, my dear good sir, and I hope to read many more like it

(particularly the novel! *hehe. sorry, couldn’t resist *)

David Michael replies: "Thank you again. I love getting comments from people with a little something to actually say, and you’re providing plenty of those. The novel’s on the backburner now as various short stories have taken my time recently, as well as reading and research projects. Plus, I’m a notoriously slow writer. At any rate, I don’t think I’ll be posting the novel here, as I want to protect it as much as possible before a potential publishing. Scattered clips and scenes may appear, just to test out certain characters and such, but otherwise no. Sorry. If you’re interested in the Racon, however, they are the subject of "A Not-So-Soft Moonlit Night." ’-)"

ooh, thanks for the tip and even if you are notoriously slow, at least you’re writing! I will continue to make my way through your works--and I apologize again for the amount of comments *sheepish look* you’re kind to put up with them for now, but...they may get old. I will try not to go too ’commenter-ey’ on you.

David Michael replies: "NO. NEED. TO. COMPLAIN. ABOUT. TOO. MANY. COMMENTS! If you’ve glanced around my page much, you may realize I tend to attract lots of the "commenter-ey" types, and I actually quite like them. Not that you have to watch out for grammar and such, but I love it when people have real things to SAY about a piece. That’s when I learn about it, and how to write it better."

"the Northmen came." Did they ever.

ahem... it took a few reads for me to ’get’ the rhythm. Once I did, however, I liked it. I think it will take a few more reads for me to be able to read it out loud consistently. Somehow it doesn’t jive well with my brain. Good imagery, I think, and good description words. I liked the oak tables and fires, and the rocky sands. I feel that it can still be refined, though. It doesn’t quite have the sharpness it needs, especially if it comes before your tale. It needs to take the reader by the nose and tell him or her, in no uncertain terms, that he/she needs to read this story... now ^_~

David Michael replies: "I agree with that. It’s just kind of pleasantly there, it doesn’t feel necessary. Well, honestly, it’s not really necessary. In fact, I almost wonder if it should be moved into the story rather than before it. Make it the lyrics to an old song, or a strange utterance by a blind prophet or somesuch (I’m just randomly brainstorming here). Or whatever. It’s been years since I’ve really looked at it, so some polishing is definitely in order. Perhaps expansion? Another stanza or two...some added story element to give it more context, more tension? Hm...*ponders*[/color]"

Have you read Merlin Dreams? No. Is it good?

*nodsnods* sometimes a poem by way of an intro is wonderful and intriguing, sometimes starting in on the story is better, it really depends. You should definitely polish this, and use it in some way, whether as the beginning or an insert. I would be interested to see what you would make for more stanzas.

David Michael replies: "I’m also interested, heh. There’s more work to be done on the story itself before that, though."