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S. ´Silvestris´ Strand

"A Very First Glance" by S. ´Silvestris´ Strand

SF&F Picture 3 out of 6 by S. ´Silvestris´ Strand
 
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- or 'according to my sources' -
Lord Lapis Lazuli and his good old rival have a friendly conversation as they await the arrival of the enigmatic nothern king's ship in the royal port of Machra-la.
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Illustration laz_nasse.gif for A Very First Glance A gust of wind from the sea ruffled his hair, and he automatically ran a bejeweled hand through his bangs to smooth them. At his shoulder the elegant nobleman next to him did the same.
" Frisky,” the man mumbled, fastidiously stroking his hair back into place.
He absently nodded, his eyes never leaving the ship approaching the Seagate.
" Good wind for Kayalana sails,” he replied. At his side he felt rather than saw Narcissus nod.
" Indeed. So tell me, my Lord... What is this new king of Kayalana like?”
As always Narcissus' voice was mild and composed, but he detected a note of genuine curiosity, and he smiled.
" Dearest friend, I thought you had no interest in politics..?”
He turned enough to catch the dainty little smile on the nobleman's lips.
" Oh, politics do intrigue me, Lord Lapis Lazuli. As a spectator's sport.”
He laughed and nodded.
" You make a good point. Safer that way, no doubt. But not nearly as much fun.”
He flashed the man a feral grin and turned back to watch the ship, so close now he could make out the sailors onboard, as they struggled to keep the elegant vessel on a straight course toward the tower-adorned small islet that marked the Machra-la Seagate.

" As for your question,” he began, " According to my sources, although the new king has only been in power for a year or two, he holds all the respect and love of his people. A charismatic fellow, it would appear.”
" He did defeat the ruling tyrant and salvage them from that beastly civil war,” Narcissus pointed out. Lazuli half-turned to face his companion again.
" Granted. However, my sources revealed to me the new king did not really as much fight in the war, as serve as a figure-head. A symbol to unite the people rather than a warrior himself.”
Narcissus nodded, a thoughtful expression on his face. He absently patted his hair back into place after the chaotic attention of another breeze.
" But he actually defeated the tyrant... Only to then pardon him. I must admit it baffles me. Never leave an enemy alive behind your back; I would have thought that to be the most fundamental notion to anyone. Especially if you have lived through a war.”
Lazuli nodded in agreement.
" One would think so. Maybe they do things differently up north. Or maybe the new king had a fit of empathy, and was reluctant to kill a relative...”
They paused, then looked at each other and laughed. Lazuli shook his head.
" Perhaps it's somehow part of the new king's agenda. I hear that his actions often seem perfectly erratic and incomprehensible seen from a traditional perspective. If nothing else, he's keeping everyone on their toes up there.”
Narcissus smiled softly.
" He intrigues you, this king.”
Lazuli shrugged.
" A new character in the political arena always intrigues me. Especially if I cannot figure them out. It's what keeps the game interesting.”

Narcissus broke the eye-contact and studied the ship, close enough to the pier now that the sailors and dock-servants could exchange shouted greetings and instructions.
" And now he has come to Machra-la. The first mainland ruler to do so for centuries.”
Lazuli nodded.
" Yes. Yet another enigma. As far as my sources tell me, it is as confusing to the people of Kayalana as it is to us.”
" It could mean great changes,” Narcissus murmured. His midnight-haired ruler gave an almost imperceptible nod.
" Great changes. For better or worse. If all goes well, it could be the most important breakthrough for Machra-la since the days of Lady Sunset. Official trade with Kayalana would benefit us inexpressibly.”
He smiled wryly.
" If all goes well."
Narcissus studied him pensively. As always his tone was soft.
" And if not?”
Lazuli's voice was as pleasant as ever, but his face turned unusually serious.
" If not, we may find ourselves in conflict with a powerful nation very used to war, with a large and extremely well-trained army, and a people who will do anything for their new king.”
" High stakes.”
Lazuli's smile returned, though there was still a certain grim look in his eyes.
" Very high. As always. All part of the game.”
The pretty nobleman shot his long-time acquaintance a sidelong glance.
" You are enjoying yourself immensely, aren't you?”
The gravity vanished from the ruler's eyes and he grinned widely.
" Beyond words. I haven't faced such an inspiring challenge in forever. It really makes you feel alive, doesn't it?”
Narcissus smiled a small, courteous smile.
" Spectator's sport, my Lord. I fear the excitement of life-threatening peril is a bit too radical for my own refined tastes.”
The other only smiled.
" My dearest Narcissus, I wouldn't dream of robbing you of your mirrors and fine art. Were you ever to gain a taste for political ambition, I might have to dispatch my favorite rival and neutral enemy in all Machra-la, and that would sadden me greatly.”
Lord Narcissus bowed, acknowledging the compliment.
They both turned their eyes upon the ship again as it finally landed by the marble quay, shuddering impatiently like a reined-in stallion for a moment, then compliantly falling still, moving only slightly with the soft rise and fall of the waves.

" Is it true,” Narcissus inquired, " That this new king of Kayalana really did live all his life in the Arani lands?”
There was a hectic but methodical turmoil on both the quayside and ship deck alike now, as the fine Kayalana ship was moored and a gangway prepared.
" According to my sources, yes; raised among those charmingly barbarian figures from childhood. But he also did have some claim on the Kayalana throne, apparently being a lost scion conveniently returned. For all I know, it could just have been another stratagem to bring an end to the war. Either way, it apparently worked like a charm.”
Narcissus nodded, meticulously tugging at his clothes and hair to ensure his perfection as the gangway was made ready, and the stir temporarily calmed to give way to expectant silence.
Lazuli followed the nobleman's example, ran a hand through his hair, relaxing into his most charming regal pose.

Like everyone else the pier, his eyes were fixed at the gangway of the majestic ship, oh-so curious to catch a first glimpse of this strange foreign king, who had gone against all tradition to make a state visit to the depraved, lavish island-kingdom of Machra-la.
In the sudden silence he heard the rustle of fine silk and the soft peal of fine metal jewelry behind him, as choice representatives of the peacock aristocracy of his little nation collectively craned their necks to get a better look at the alien ship, and he smiled to himself. What indeed would a warrior-king of northern Kayalana make of this artificial little world of beauty and lethal intrigue?
And then his thoughts came to an abrupt end, and the excited little flutter of political thrill in his heart turned into a more familiar sensation, spreading a certain warmth through his body; for the visiting king had appeared on the gangway, and was nothing like what he had expected at all.
As he watched jet-black hair whipping in the wind, freed from all signs of dainty coiffure, and as dark, serious eyes in a narrow face sought and found his own, he almost missed Narcissus' amused murmur in his ear.
" Judging from your dropped jaw, my Lord,” the nobleman whispered mildly, "It would seem your most valuable sources left out the small but significant fact that this new king of Kayalana is downright gorgeous.”

And as the king approached him, formal regal greetings to be suitably exchanged, and that narrow face with its large, grave eyes came so temptingly close to his own, he thought to himself that on that final statement, he would have to agree.



All the characters, places and plots described on these pages are © Sara Strand 1997-2004. They may not be used by anyone else, in any way, without my written permission. All artwork also © Sara Strand.
To find out more more about my world and characters, visit www.silvestris.net/pangaea.



←- Hidari-te | First Meeting -→

DateNameComment 
1 Apr 200445 Shadow Child
*snicker* Ah, Lazuli, all it takes is a preety face to turn your world upside down. Heehee! I love it, I'm so happy you've posted more!Well, actually not - Lazuli's surrounded by pretty faces all the time; he doesn't fall so easily. It's all about chemistry - and I can assure you Lazuli himself is extremely surprised to realize the effect that enigmatic young king has on him. A mutual feeling, no doubt. 12
1 Apr 2004:-) Chris A Jackson
This is very smooth and professionally done. Your style flows nicely. I did, however, have difficulty caring much about the characters, plot, politics, relationships, etc that were outlined here in conversation. This, I think, was simply due to stepping into the middle of the story. I have always hated walking into the middle of a movie, or the middle of a conversation, simply because I feel left out, in the dark and generally confused. This does NOT mean that I don't like your story, your writing style, etc, it just means that I would have preferred to start at the beginning.

Congratulations on the Mod's Choice. And your artwork is very nice, as well.I definitely hear you - that's why I write on my Wyvern mainpage that these aren't really meant to be 'stories' - I only call them 'snippets', since that's what they are. A scene as loosely depicted as one drawn and painted, without much of a plot in itself, and lacking real beginning or end. Written mostly for practice, as opposed to being drawn (my usual approach).Should I ever get around to actually writing the real story, I would definitely try and break it more gently, rather than throwing readers directly into a scene. 12Thanks for commenting!
1 Apr 2004:-) K. 'Mad-Katter' Houseman
Wonderful! That's amazing! I absolutely love it! Congrats on mod's choice. The conversation moved the piece along, giving background and history, without just handing all the information to the reader in one large blob. Worthy of mod's choice, I would say. *tips top hat to you* Good job.
1 Apr 200445 D Joelle Duran
An intriguing little snippet. You did a great job of describing your world (and your character's personalities) through a conversation that didn't seem artifical--and that can be quite hard. I liked your imagery of the ship's movements compared to a stallion. Congrats on the Mod!
1 Apr 200445 Cat Black
More!! Brilliant, absolutely brilliant! What more is there to say?
2 Apr 2004:-) Jamie Foley
Wow...Wow! I'm really impressed. Your calibre of writing is one of the top I've seen on Elfwood-your conversation is well-worded and believable, and the actions of the characters are smooth and elegant, befitting their positions. In addition, your vocabulary is wonderful! I really love authors that know how to use English, and you've done an excellent job of it! Honestly, I really think it improves the piece and even makes the reader feel smarter. Congrats on that!

Couple things I noticed and thought I'd point out:

1. "Narcissus broke the eye-contact and studied the ship..." - you have such wonderful statements, all filled with purpose/i>;, and then you just sort of toss this in. It seems almost a waste of a sentence.

2. "Beyond words. I haven't faced such an inspiring challenge in forever. It really makes you feel alive, doesn't it?” - the 'you' doesn't read well. In speaking sense, aren't you changing from a first person 'I' to a third person 'you' in this one set of lines?

3. "Lazuli followed the nobleman's example, ran a hand through his hair" - I thought they were patting it down. Wouldn't running a hand through one's hair make it more suseptable to the wind?

4. "In the sudden silence he heard the rustle of fine silk and the soft peal of fine metal jewelry behind him[,] as choice representatives of the peacock aristocracy of his little nation collectively craned their necks to get a better look at the alien ship, and he smiled to himself."
- comma splice? or is that just a typo?

Wow though! I really loved your piece. I wish I had time to read more, but it's back to the books for me. Good luck on future pieces, though with this calibre of writing I'm sure luck isn't something you need =)First, thank you for such a long and detailed comment! I really appreciate it. Of course, the praise didn't really hurt either. 121. Just a way to carry happenings forward, I guess, to show how the ship slowly approaches. 2. I haven't thought about it. I'm almost sure it would work in Swedish, but then, sometimes I tend to translate too literally in my head. If it's downright wrong in English, I guess I have to move things around somehow to still achieve the meaning I wanted.3. That one's actually deliberate - they have different hairstyles. Narcissus' hair is very smooth, thus needs patting down. Lazuli, on the other hand, has a nice, nice forelock, so running a hand through it will give it the 'right' ruffled look, as opposed to having the wind blow it into his face. I guess that doesn't really come across in the writing; I'm just more used to drawing them than writing about them. 4. 'Comma splice'? Never heard the expression before. I'm very much in love with all kinds of punctuation, to the extent it sometimes gets thrown in at too many places. I suppose that sentence really should lose that comma, shouldn't it?Once again, I'm really grateful you took the time to point out all these things in such a helpful and constructive way; I really appreciate it. Thanks!
2 Apr 2004:-) Simi Landau *Muffin Queen*
Yay!! Lazuli! I see him in your gallery *all* the time but I'm secretly a very lazy bum and don't comment.
You're as good a storyteller as you are an artist, and I, for my part, am insanely envious! Lazuli is entirely believable (so flighty!), and I've really gone and forgotten everything else I wanted to say. ^.^
Congrats on Mod's Choice, and a Wyvern Magical Mod Muffin for you!
~Muffin QueenHee! Thank you for finally commenting, then. Glad you like Lazuli - he's a rather curious character, that one. 12
2 Apr 2004:-) Ricky N. Barnett Jr.
Of coarse you would want to start at the beginging, Chris, But when does the begining start? And it really does get boring trying to write all that non-essensial stuff that just takes up space, And more boring trying to read that space, You got to jump into the story fast or you the reader looses interest.
22 May 200545 Belethchamien
'" Judging from your dropped jaw, my Lord,” the nobleman whispered mildly, "It would seem your most valuable sources left out the small but significant fact that this new king of Kayalana is downright gorgeous.”'
Absolutely love that sentence; while reading it I could almost 'hear' Narcissus say it and I imagined what it would sound like when in a movie or so and it really stayed for a while in my head, as I'm writing this months after reading it for the first time, but came back to read it again and smile at it... I hope you will once write the whole book, as you're one of the best writers I know.
28 Aug 200545 Lona tsunsau
* fully agrees with the comment above*
now that I have visited your site about pangaea, your gallery on elfwood and devaintART ( die hard fan of pangaea here)over the thousend times, I can really say that I really love your work^.^
and for the fact lapis lazuli is one of my favorite, I liked this story also^-^

it's very chlichè but I have to say: keep going!
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About 'A Very First Glance':
 • Status: OK
 • Created by: :-) S. ´Silvestris´ Strand
 • Copyright: ©S. ´Silvestris´ Strand. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Lord, Nobleman, King, Port, Politics, Rion, Lapis, Lazuli, Narcissus, Pangaea
 • Categories: Romance, Emotion, Love, Royalty, Kings, Princes, Princesses, etc, Spaceships, Ships, Bessels, Transportation...
Modpick •  Mod Pick at: 2004-04-01 09:28:07
 • Views: 667


More by 'S. ´Silvestris´ Strand':
Power of Goodbye
First Meeting
Farewell Maqaxha
Prologue
Hidari-te

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