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Richard Lorenz

"Raider 01: Manhunt" by Richard Lorenz

SF&F Picture 1 out of 16 by Richard Lorenz
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The search for a hero to arrest.
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Manhunt

They came for me at night. Late at night. So late, in fact, it was almost morning. They were tired and disgruntled from searching for me all over town. But it was their own fault, their own arrogance, really.

They started in the taverns close to the keep walls, and worked their way down to the docks and warehouses, hitting every brothel and low dive in between. A lot of other undesirables were rounded up in the manhunt designed for me. These were people the City Watch had been looking for, but it took the Duke’s Men and the Prime Temple’s Priests to drive them out to be arrested, jailed, and await trail. But it was only me for whom they were prying into all the dark recesses after.

Taverns, bars, brothels, opium dens, fighting pits. The Duke’s own Men had been brought to organize and execute the search, and they had certain ideas about me already. Violent, brutal, a butcher. A stealer of innocence, slayer of the innocent, and one who awakens Dreamers. Heretic and Atheist.

I said that this manhunt was designed to unearth me, but it wasn’t. Not really. It was based on flawed assumptions about my character. They had all heard about the atrocities, read the stories, and the Officers had interviewed the survivors and studied the reports. The description of me they had was accurate, right down to the freckles on my elbows. But that doesn’t mean they knew me.

The Duke sent his men in with my description, and orders to find, bind, and transport me back to his castle-keep. Nothing was said about utilizing locals, or even letting the local constabulary know what they were about. That in itself would have saved them a lot of time.

And the destruction. Their basic tactics were to surround and overwhelm with superior numbers. Fully armored knights marching into taverns with drawn swords usually cause a panic. Overturned chairs and broken crockery are expected, but the knights chased anyone who ran, smashing the chairs, tables, and other people in their way. I think there were two taverns and a wharehouse that burned to the ground that night, and another half dozen closed for a month or more for repairs.

Oh, I haven’t told you where I was that night. The City Watch knew. Everyone else in town probably knew, too. That’s why there is a Special Inquiry into the Watch, the City Fathers, and the town in general. How could they know there was a monster in their midst, and not point the Knights and Priests in my direction.

I was at home, sleeping in bed.

←- Wyvern Project 3: A Tale of Madness and Pride | Raider 02: Accusations -→

DateNameComment 
27 May 200445 Lindsey M. Butler
Clever twist at the end! But is this it??? Why did the Duke want him dead and what sort of monster was he? And why would everyone protect him? You raised questions! I like the narrative voice, it works well, and the story has great flow. A little more description might help, and lengthen the story a bit. This was good, I hope there's more with this character in the works.

1 Richard Lorenz replies: "You'll have to keep reading. It's a serial of sorts."
1 Jun 2004:-) Suzannah Carrick
This is not the end, at least if it is then it shouldn't be. Very good, ur style is unique (y does every1 always say that?) no really ur style is good. U might want to rewrite ur first paragraph as it's not as good as the rest of ur story.
9 Jun 2004:-) Toni J Kaukinen
Ooh. As a lover of the first person perspective, I rather appreciate this. I love charm and wit! But... I'd actually want to see longer chapters. These are nice to read, but once you really get started, they already end. Meeeh!

I don't know if you welcome typo-hunting, but...

"Oh, I haven’t told you ***were*** I was that night."

"How could they there was a monster in their midst, and not point the Knights and Priests in my direction." (Missing the word "know"?)

20 Richard Lorenz replies: "Thanks for catching my mistakes. I'll try and get them fixed soon."
25 Jun 2004:-) Doug Diedrich
This is excellent. I love the tone of the story. Definitely sounds like the narration from an rogue hero. I also like how you described the foolish and destructive search party. Great work!
25 Jul 2004:-) Bryanne Hart
All I have to say at the moment is.... Hehehe Suckers! Now, on to read the next part...
24 Aug 2008:-) Désirée Dippenaar
Great first chapter! I love the twist at the end, and the narration voice is excellent. What I also find ironic is the way the Duke’s people accuse the narrator of being destructive and violent, while they in the end create lots of desctruction while he is asleep in bed!

I enjoyed reading this and will be reading more! 2
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About 'Raider 01: Manhunt':
 • Status: OK
 • Created by: :-) Richard Lorenz
 • Copyright: ©Richard Lorenz. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Paladin, Arrest, Knights, Mages, Priests, Temple, Taverns, Bars, Brothels
 • Categories: Angels, Religious, Spiritual, Holy, Fights, Duels, Battles, Warrior, Fighter, Mercenary, Knights, Paladins, Wizards, Priests, Druids, Sorcerers...
 • Views: 314


More by 'Richard Lorenz':
Raider 06: Discovery
Raider 02: Accusations
Green Land 05: Signs of Life
Wyvern Project 3: A Tale of Madness and Pride
Raider 07: Setup
Wyvern Project 4: Johnny Walker
Raider 03: Arrest
Green Land 06: Blue Pines
Raider 05: Willy the Cat

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