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Katie Collishaw

"Curiosity" by Katie Collishaw

SciFi/Fantasy text 3 out of 15 by Katie Collishaw.      ←Previous - Next→
 
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I was so sick of people making stories about death. Talking to death, being death blah blah blah. So I decided to write a story about Death's not so distant Cousin Fate
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←- *Child's Dream* | *Death, to my side, Come* -→

Curiosity

‘ I didn’t want to know.”

But you asked.

“ Yes, but I didn’t know I didn’t want to know until I asked.”

I cannot take back what I said.”

“ I know, but I can try to help her can’t I?”

Yes.”

******

Susanne was walking up Park Avenue. She wasn’t really paying attention, so she didn’t realize she had walked into the street. Her head phones were on her ears, so she couldn’t hear the beeping horns. Her eyes were glazed with tears, so she couldn’t see the paved road. It wasn’t until some one grabbed her that she saw the danger she was in. She let out a scream, but it didn’t help. The car smashed her side in, her ribs punctured her heart. Her wish came true. She died.

*******

Carol was also walking up Park Avenue. Except, unlike Susanne she was paying attention, watching the crying girl in front of her. When the girl walked into the street she started yelling at the crying girl. But the girl didn’t hear her. She ran into the street and grabbed the crying girl and flung her away from the on coming car. She didn’t see the other car that was coming quickly from behind. All she heard was an ear splitting scream, and a soft crunch. The crying girl kissed death.

********

“ I thought you said I was going to help her!!”

I said you could try to help her.”

“ But I didn’t want her to die.”

If you hadn’t of asked, you wouldn’t have known, and you wouldn’t be angry now.”

“ But I wanted to help her, she wasn’t supposed to die.”

She wasn’t supposed to live.” whispered fate.

←- *Child's Dream* | *Death, to my side, Come* -→

DateNameComment 
9 Jun 2005:-) Robyn L. Smith
And im still going to cross the street with my headphones on...I cant live without my music

14 Katie Collishaw replies: "you can still do that. Just be careful!"
9 Jun 2005:-) Robyn L. Smith
Very interesting... I dont know if i can trust cousin Fate now it seems...risky..hahaha this is good a suprising twist...loved it

:-) Katie Collishaw replies: "I'm glad you liked it! I'm so happy that the ending has caught everyone off guard =)"
28 Jun 200545 Drake
That was kind of twisted. Very interesting tho. . .

1 Katie Collishaw replies: "Twisted is good tho right?"
19 Jul 2005:-) Kelsie Elizabeth
Hmm...very cool, powerful ending. This seems like an interesting idea- Why don't you expand it? Carol's relationship with fate would make a great expanded story or series of stories...Anyway, cool idea 2

:-) Katie Collishaw replies: "AAAh... just when I thought I could get away with this short little version... =/ Anyway, I'm glad you liked it, and expanding it has already crossed my mind. Thanks for the input though =)"
23 Jul 2005:-) Bianca ´Bia´ Tangermann
Very interesting piece. I think the middle narration with the car is a bit awkward and too fast, but I suppose that accounts for the shortness essential for this story, as other people have already stated. The two dialogues, now THOSE were truly amazing. The last line especially.

:-) Katie Collishaw replies: "Thank you, Thank you *deep scarlet blush* I really never wanted it to be this short.. but that's how it turned out.. At some point, I'm going to take it apart and make it longer.. I just don't know when.. "
20 Aug 2005:-) D. 'Yolaron' Hendrikson
I like that. It's different from the normal dark, angery, bloody death stuff. It's sad, but sweet. Good job!

:-) Katie Collishaw replies: "OH uhm.. Thank you! It's crazy isn't it? coming across things that are different from the norm.. kinda like that flower over there... *wanders off*"
22 Aug 2005:-) Debbie Newcomb
Once again, pretty! Well if it was her fate to be run over by a car then nothing can change that. Fate's not always a fun person, but sometimes Fate is fun. So wait, if Fate is Death's cousin then who is Death's aunt? Or Fate's for that matter?

:-) Katie Collishaw replies: "I'm soo glad you asked. I was actually thinking that Father Time was in some way related to them. "
8 Sep 2005:-) Richard H. Patton
Yes! YES! More dialogue-based stories now!! 2

Thank you for proving my point on how good you are at this stuff! You have the golden ear for capturing the words behind the words of most people's conversations. I hope you DON'T lengthen this. If anything, I'd rather you made it shorter. "Less is more" is like a second language to you. So I know you could only make it better that way. This so reads like the intro to a novel! The kind that forces us to turn the page every time.

So impressive, Katie. You really have a spark of brilliance now-and-then, huh?
Please just keep sharing them. 12

:-) Katie Collishaw replies: "*awww* This is such a sweet comment.. I can't get over it.

I'm just glad that you like it.. I keep getting advice.. " Make it longer." "Keep it how it is" .. so I dunno... Its still optional..

And yes.. I do get strokes of brilliance every so often.. not enough to keep myself satisfied.. but enough to fend you all off. =)"
10 Sep 2005:-) Sarah J Kinder
Oh man this was great! The very direct description of getting hit by the car. . .OW (Of course I really like reading stuff like that). Longer or shorter? Honestly I could really see it both ways. As it is it's beautifully short but yet I could see some fantastic additions as well.

-S

18 Katie Collishaw replies: "Ah yes, thank you!!! I was actually thinking about rewriting this and making it longer, but keeping the short one up.. so that people can decide which one they like better. Thank you for the advice, its very helpful!"
29 Jan 2006:-) Annie Harrington
Great little short piece. I think it's good as it is, but if you ever do put up a longer version of this, I'd love to read it.

:-) Katie Collishaw replies: "I'm glad you like it like this!!! And if I do write a longer version, it will take a while. but, if I ever do I'll let you know."
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'Curiosity':
 • Created by: :-) Katie Collishaw
 • Copyright: ©Katie Collishaw. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Death, Fate, Unchangeable
 • Categories: Ghosts, Ghouls, Aparitions
 • Views: 482

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