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Katie Collishaw

"Mother" by Katie Collishaw

SciFi/Fantasy text 9 out of 15 by Katie Collishaw.      ←Previous - Next→
 
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You're sleeping over your best friend's house and she tells you her mother is a witch. You don't believe her and then she shows you something that opens your eyes to a world outside your own. But, who do you believe? Your best friend, or her mother,'the witch.' This is my first dialogue only piece ever! Hope you enjoy.
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Mother

“ My mother is a witch.”

“ Cara. Your mother is just mean. She’s not a witch, you just don’t like her.”

“ You don’t understand Karen. She really is a witch! Karen I”m not kidding. I don’t know what she wants with you, but it’s not good.”

“ Cara, this is like the time the janitor was the Boogeyman. Don’t interrupt. Or how our science teacher was really an alien from Mars who wanted to harvest our hair.”

“ Ok. I admit that I made a mistake, ok several mistakes. But, I’m not making a mistake this time. You have to listen to me. You can’t go with her alone.”

“ What’s she going to do Cara? Suck my brains out?”

“ No. She’ll suck out your soul and keep it in the little glass amulet she has around her neck.”

“ Why would she keep it around her neck? Isn’t that obvious.”

“ I dunno. She wants them near her heart or something. But, that’s not the point. I need to know what she said to you when you came over tonight.”

“ Uh.. She said ‘You have beautiful eyes.’ And that’s it. Ah. Turn off the light.”

“ Sorry. That’s not good. Do you remember Raechel Sardona?”

“ Hmmm.. um.. Did she have the really long black hair.. And was really really skinny.?”

“ Yeah.”

“ Yeah, then I remember her. You and her were like wicked close weren’t you? Best friends maybe?”

“ Yeah.. She was my best friend. But my mother got to her. She took her home one morning.. and she was never seen again.”

“ A person can’t get away with murder nowadays. I mean.. Forensic science and everything.”

“ She’s not a normal person. The laws of this plane don’t count for her. She can do whatever she wants. She wanted something of Raechel’s. But, I never did find out.”

“ Yeah.. So where’s your proof that your mother sucked out Raechel’s soul.”

“ Do you really want to find out?”

“ Yes. Because until I see some proof I’m not going to believe you.. And I’ll have her drive me home without you.”

“ Allright. Come with me.”

“ Where are we going?”

“ Her room.”

****

“ God, Cara. What are we doing in here. I feel like we’re doing something illegal.”

“ Technically we are doing something illegal. She specifically forbade us from coming in here.”

“ Why do I get the feeling that we’re being watched.”

“ It’s Mousekins. He’s her cat. He’s not very mean, except when she’s around. Then he’ll be a total terror.”

“ Is Mousekins all black? Like they say in all of the books. You know black is the color of evil right?”

“ Don’t get hysterical on me. And no, Mousekins is white. But, both of his parents were pitch black. He’s just a little bit different. Like maybe his parents weren't really his parents.”

“ Huh, you and Mousekins soudn kind of alike, just a little bit different. Heh. what are we doing in here anyways?”

“ We're getting your proof. It’s just over here. Be careful, don’t knock anything over. Or mother will know we’ve been here and then not even I can save you.”

“ How is it that you haven’t gotten your soul sucked out yet.”

“ Because... I don’t really know. She’s scared of me I think. I dunno. It must be something in my blood. I’m adopted.”

“ Oh.”

“ Here it is. Now, just put your hands on this glass orb.”

“ Like this? Over a little? Ok. I think I’m all set.”

“ Raechel.. Raechel.. I need you to come back from the depths of the darkness to show a non-believer. Just follow the light from our hands, follow the blood flowing through our veins. Follow the beat of her heart.”

“ Oh My God. Cara.. Theres someone in the orb. She’s trying to tell me something. Cara, what are you doing? Why are your eyes like that, Cara? You’re scaring me. Your eyes aren't supposed to be red. ”

“ It’s ok Karen. Rae’s told me that getting your soul sucked out really doesn’t hurt. But, then again anything is better than eternal darkness, isn't it?”

“ Cara, what are you talking about? You told me it was your mother that was the witch. Not you. Cara, you’re my best friend you can’t do this to me.”

“ My mother? My mother couldn't evern hurt a fly. And anyway, What better way to get you to my lair? Hahaha. And you believed me. You know, Raechel said the same thing to me. About me being her best friend. Don’t start crying now. It’ll only hurt for a little bit, and then there will be nothing for a long, long time.”

*****

Disappearance at Sleep Over

Karen Tomelson was sleeping over her friend Cara’s house when she disappeared during the night. Cara told police that she woke up about 5:00 Saturday June 5th, to find that Karen wasn’t in the bed next to her. The police could find no evidence to support an intruder. Cara’s mother, Sharlene, is currently under investigation... (Cnt’d page 3b)

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DateNameComment 
22 Aug 200545 Random
well I'll never trust my friends completely again... But it is a nice(scary) story, very well put together.

:-) Katie Collishaw replies: "I thank you very much random, this comment gives me the power to try to write another dialogue only piece. "
22 Aug 2005:-) Debbie Newcomb
CREEPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not sure I want to go to sleep overs anymore, only slumber parties!!!!! But then they could just get more souls...... EEK! Your stories scare me, but I keep reading. They're just too good.

:-) Katie Collishaw replies: "That's awesome!! I'm sooo glad I scare people.. it's invigorating. *mua hahahaha*"
8 Sep 2005:-) Richard H. Patton
We've received new orders for you, Katie! Headquarters needs you to write another dialogue-only piece... and fast!

This was practically perfect! What a delight! It all sounded so natural and flowed so well. Tight, terse, and terribly good. Yes, I must see more of this type! You obviously have a gift for it.

Amazing! Simply magical!!! 2

22 Katie Collishaw replies: "Wow... I didn't realize anyone would like this soo much.. =) I'm glad it sounded natural.. I was trying to think of how I would talk.. and do if I were in this situation.. ( a good thing for writing hint hint 12}

Neways... I will try to write some more dialogue only.. this was fun!! "
17 Oct 2005:-) Nielda Andrea Ramos
gasp full of wonder! I liked the dialogue only and the way the kids spoke to each other. It was very good and so entertaining. I wish it was nigh when I read it! I think I may show it to friends for Halloween, perfectly frightful!

1 Katie Collishaw replies: "Thank you!! Go right ahead, show your friends, bring them online, show them my website tell them what a wonderful author I am .. I mean.. *ahem* Do you as you please, as long as I am given due credit lol"
29 Oct 2005:-) Andis
Hey, you wrote a dialouge piece!
And it took me this long to find out...
This is sad. Well, marching band is over, so my life can regain some semblance of normality.
This is a really good piece, but I think you could work on smoothing out the opening. I think she'd build up more to saying her mother is a witch, instead of just randomly coming out with it.
Good job on it, though. I had just been about to call my friend... but I think I'll wait.

:-) Katie Collishaw replies: "ah yes, thank you for the critique.. but this was based on a real friend whose mother is really mean. And she came right out and said it. "
10 Dec 2005:-) Jacqueline 'Jac' Tanner
*laughs loudly* i quite enjoyed this only dialouge piece. I thought ti would be awkward because there woul dbe no describing of characters but i was still able to easily see what was happening in my mind's eye. I quite liked how her eyes glowed red at the end and the newspaper clipping was very cleverly done! Great work!

1 Katie Collishaw replies: "THANK YOU!!!! I really enjoyed writing this piece. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to describe what was happening through just a conversation, then a realized in a conversation, the people end up telling you everything you need to know. PLus, not adding details allows the reader to make them up themselves!! I'm soooo glad you enjoyed it! "
29 Jan 2006:-) Annie Harrington
Ah, a different style for a change! I loved this, and I liked the fact that it was self-explanatory even without the descriptions. The newspaper clipping at the very end was great, too.

Also, I found this a bit funny:
" 'My mother? My mother couldn't evern hurt a fly. And anyway, What better way to get you to my lair? Hahaha.' "
The "hahaha" made me laugh a bit. Cara is an evil little witch, isn't she?

I enjoyed this piece a lot.

:-) Katie Collishaw replies: "Yes. Cara is an evil little witch. And I love her that way. She's quite a character. I thoroughly enjoyed putting her on paper. "
10 Mar 2006:-) Lyndsay E. Gilbert aka Liadan
Wow Katie, exce;;emt stuff, its been months since i've been able to go on Elfwood, but I checked you out immediately of course. You are improving even more. Your dialogue skills are quite obviously excellent. This gave me chills. Keep up the good work hun.

Liadan xxx

:-) Katie Collishaw replies: "wow... this was an excellent surprise. I thought you had forgotten all about me. I'm so glad you liked it. =D I haven't come on here in ages either. but, eh. One day I'll come back lol"
27 Feb 2009:-) Natalie Adams
22 i actually finished this story with my eyes wide open, and my mouth agape - wow, this is such a spine-tingling tale...i’ll never look at my friends in the same way again!!! 1
Even tho there is no description, as it is purely dialouge, there is so much tension created in their lines - you can almost hear the panic in her voice even on the page, awesome job Katie! 11

:-) Katie Collishaw replies: "I was definately trying for that. My first, and actual only attempt at dialogue only. Maybe I’ll have to write some more... "
9 Jun 2009:-) MT Starkey
Awesome. Cool story. Good style using mainly dialogue. Quite chilling, too. Especially the last part.
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'Mother':
 • Created by: :-) Katie Collishaw
 • Copyright: ©Katie Collishaw. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Best, Friend, Soul, Sucker
 • Categories: Ghosts, Ghouls, Aparitions, Magic and Sorcery, Spells, etc., Vampires, Zombies, Undeads, Dark, Gothic, Wizards, Priests, Druids, Sorcerers...
 • Views: 547

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More by 'Katie Collishaw':
The Last Day
Trespass
Under the Bed
*Child's Dream*
Unforgiving wishes
The Devil's Dog

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