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Stephanie R. Sims

"The Creature" by Stephanie R. Sims

SciFi/Fantasy text 2 out of 2 by Stephanie R. Sims.      ←Previous - Next→
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A womans encounters a creature out of this world, or out of her mind.
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←- Ayla-Michelle | Ayla-Michelle -→

I could always tell when they were coming. Those tiny hairs on the back of my neck would raise up to alert me. Normally I wouldn’t let such a small thing frighten me, but there was something about them that scared me more than anything I have ever felt before.

The last time was the worst. I remember the day exactly. It was February 29, 1998. I got that tingling feeling, but I just ignored it, as I was at the park with my two-year-old son, Wayne. The day was bright, but it wasn’t warm so I didn’t feel it attach itself to my pant leg.

These creatures start out extremely small, the size of a tiny insect, so how was I to notice it when I took Wayne back home? I didn’t even notice it when I changed from my blue jeans into my apartment pants after I put Wayne to bed. By that time, I guess it was probably the size of a larger insect.

The first I noticed it was when I went to my bedroom to grab a sweater. It was sitting in the middle of what was supposed to be my closet. It looked like a small monkey, except it had huge banana like claws. Probably each one was two inches long. Green scales ran across its blue skin as it moved from my closet. That’s when it really noticed me. Horizontal slits that glowed a dark red were its eyes and it just glared at me; just sat there staring at me like I was invading its territory.

Before I could exhale, it scrambled up my wall, sinking each of those claws deeply into the wood. It then tore the vent cover from my vent and took one last look at me before crawling inside. I stood frozen, too scared to move for a while, at least until I heard the blood chilling scream of my son.

I grabbed what was left of my closet pole and ran to Wayne’s bedroom door. When I got there, I couldn’t open the door. The dead silence that stood behind it scared me. What was my son doing? Shaking my head, I reached for the doorknob and slowly turned it. I had to go in and check on Wayne, even if the creature scared me. Softly, I called to Wayne. I didn’t even notice there was no answer though. I didn’t see the creature as I walked into the room, but Wayne was sitting on the edge of his bed, his hands neatly folded in his lap. He looked so much like an angel, I could have almost forgotten about that nasty thing.

“It’s okay, Mama.” Wayne said to me, “It left. It’s gone now, Mama.”

I walked to him, slowly, passing the vent cover on the floor. Kneeling in front of Wayne, I put my arms around him and closed my eyes.

“Yes, baby. It’s okay. I love you.” I said and smiled.

Upon opening my eyes, the creature was right in my face. It was larger now, and completely green. Small horns grew from the sides of its face and its fanged mouth dripped its drool.

Jerking away, I pulled Wayne with me. For some reason, I had expected the thing to follow after us, to stalk us, but instead it sat where my son had sat, like my son had sat, with his hands folded in his lap. I ran into the door, which was now closed. When was it closed? I loved to open it, but almost dropped Wayne. He wasn’t holding onto me.

“Wayne, baby. Grab onto me.” I said softly, but got no response. “C’mon, sweetheart.”

With a sickening sound, his body fell out of his skin onto the floor in front of me. I hadn’t realized he didn’t have the back half of his skin. But I did now, and I saw that blood covered my arms completely. If I could have found my voice, I would have screamed.

I dropped what was left of my son’s skin and looked at the creature. He seemed to understand my emotions and just grinned at me, showing me his pointy teeth. I was no longer thinking as straight as I had before. I grabbed that pole I brought with me and swung. The creature didn’t fight back, physically, but mentally. He mimicked my son’s voice, screaming for me to stop and tried to block my attacks with his arms. Just screaming.

As I finished my testimony, the jury looked puzzled, so I added,

“Please, I didn’t kill my son. I loved him.”

Hot tears ran down my face as I looked at my husband. His head was hung low to where I couldn’t see his face. He must have been so disappointed in me, for not protecting our only son. I felt so completely horrible. I let both of the people I loved most down.

As the bailiff came to escort me to my lawyers, I couldn’t believe my eyes. That disgusting green creature sat upon his shoulder! Quickly, thinking on my feet, I grabbed the judge’s hammer and slammed it into the side of the creature’s head. He dropped to the floor, not moving, but there were more. They were coming at me from all sides. I couldn’t seem to get rid of them quick enough. I turned to the bailiff to get his help, but he was on the floor with a head wound. I got my hands on his handgun and just started shooting. But those damn creatures over powered me. I blacked out, and when I woke up, I was here, at the Memorial Mental Institution. When can I go home and see my husband and son?

←- Ayla-Michelle | Ayla-Michelle -→

11 Feb 2004:-) David 'Wik' S. Percival
Okay. It's a good story content-wise. I love the central concept to it. But there are a few things I'd consider work on: 1) Maybe lengthen the story a bit. Describe the scenes in a bit more detail. If you start with "while wayne was playing in a pool, splashing around, I noticed a small insect crawling on my hand" you can really create tension. As it is, you're jumping into things too quickly. You should be making a movie, not a commercial. 2) Perhaps give a reason why the woman acts in such a way? If she's insane, why? What is her reasoning behind everything? 3) The ending is anti-climactic. Personally, I'd end the story in the courthouse, with her drawing the gun on all these "monsters". But the last line, when do I get to see my husband and son again? is a great one. I'd still end with her saying that.

Anyways, I don't critique unless I think it's worth the effort. So, there it is.
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'The Creature':
 • Created by: :-) Stephanie R. Sims
 • Copyright: ©Stephanie R. Sims. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Alien, Child, Goblin, Gremlin, Insane, Insanity, Woman
 • Categories: Extrateresstial, Alien Life Forms, Ghosts, Ghouls, Aparitions, Mythical Creatures & Assorted Monsters, Orc, Goblins, Trolls, Trollocs..., Vampires, Zombies, Undeads, Dark, Gothic
 • Views: 989

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