| Date | Name | Comment | | | 16 Aug 2005 |  Samuel V. R. Joseph |  Loading...Hey there, this is a beautiful poem! It flows very nicely, and it's very... poignant. And moving. I have suggestion, though: "Seems colder now and fish are gone" -- I think something like "seems colder now; the fish are gone" would flow more smoothly... Other than that, I thoroughly enjoyed this! Wonderful =)  Timothy Pontious replies: "I'm glad it connected with you. Thanks for your suggestion - I like your version of the line. This one was really weird because it started out as a lighthearted romp through familiar places, but somewhere it turned on me and I had to go with the flow. I'll repay your visit as soon as I can! Thanks for stopping by." | |
| 21 Oct 2005 |  Dan Shevock | Loading... The first line is quite catchy. "I've visited this fence before I marked it here - beside its door." And sort of humorous, so I thought it was going to be light fare. But then when "mark" returns later in the poem, it's a memory being marked. Nostalgic. Very nicely written. Timothy Pontious replies: "Aw, shucks. Thanks. Coming from such a poetry fan I'll take that as high praise. I visited your page but will have to return when I have more time. I probably shouldn't have written this at the office - folks were starting to wonder what was wrong.... heh." | |
| 22 Oct 2005 |  B. Layne Weaver | Loading... Ah, very nicely done! For the most part, the rhythm was wonderful... only the line "Remembering contented moans" tripped me up a bit, but I'm awful at poetry so I'll not even try to suggest a way to help you. ^_~ Great job! Timothy Pontious replies: "My! You have been reading, haven't you? Glad you like this one." | |
| 27 Oct 2005 |  Keith D. Brooks Jr. | Loading... I really envy those who can write poetry well; and you are one of them. I've tried writing poetry before, but I always end up throwing it away or not finishing it. Nice job on this.  Timothy Pontious replies: "Thanks. It's always interesting to see what I post that clicks with other people. Don't sweat not being a poet - I don't consider myself one. I want to be a novelist, but that road may grow too long. It's good to have aspirations, but find a voice that is comfortable for you. " | |
| 15 Nov 2005 |  Kasper | Loading... | |
| 23 Nov 2005 |  ´Disco´ Vic Alfieri | Loading... Well i used to say i was a poet, but now i haven't written one in ages, the one you have here^^^ is a very good one, and the only thing i would probably change had i written it would be this line "We press on, hearts mending the torn." and i would just change mending to mend. That's all my crits....so job well done..... Timothy Pontious replies: "Thanks for stopping by my page, Vic. Glad you liked this. I kind of like your variation. It seems that in poetry less is always more. More or less. Enjoy your read. I'll be on my way to your page in the next day or so." | |
| 8 Dec 2005 |  Matthew J. Hillary | Loading... Wow. I'm impressed actually. Not that I somehow didn't expect this much of you, but I didn't expect to read such a good poem at all on elfwood. This is definately the best poem I've read here. It has a unique situation, flow, struction, etc. Something that's even a bit cooler, with how you added in some fantasy flavors, is that even though the poem is simple and you tell us exactly what it is of, without that "its about a wolf" it could easily be more broadly interperted as people in various circumstances. Nice work  I'm glad I got way too bored with my Finals. lol, funny thing that I ditched my poetry analyzation I was working on for Literary Perspectives just to end up reading poetry on Elfwood =P Timothy Pontious replies: "I'm always glad to see this one resonate, if only just to give you a reason for ditching some study time. That's ironic. LOL! I admit to adding some fantasy elements to make sure it met Elfwood's genre rules. I'll be back by your page for another read soon!" | |
| 13 Apr 2006 |  Emma Kathryn McDonald | Loading... "I'll visit soon, but not today I'll need more time to find my way." Very moving closing lines...very very sad, you capture the emotion very well...*siff sniff cry cry* *wanders off to find a tissue* Lotsaluv, Em Timothy Pontious replies: "Aw, there now dear.*passes a box of tissues*I think you're looking for these. Keep the box." | |
| 29 Apr 2006 |  Annie Harrington | Loading... This is so completely opposite from your "Forest Call" poem. . . this is too sad! But it's also so very well written! I loved the flow and it really makes me wonder how you managed to make it so. . . full of feeling. Gosh, this is really touching. But I guess to every happy life there must be some sad moments. I just hope the new pack finds/chooses a pack leader who will be as admirable as the last(at least as I interpret it). Excellent poem. Timothy Pontious replies: "Hi again, Annie. I thought you might like this one. I'm not a sad person by nature, but I can find the threads of this feeling pretty easily I guess. I always think it is fascinating to see something I write touch somebody else. Thanks!" | |
| 11 Jun 2006 | Kasper | Loading... Yes, great poem. I like the sadness and imagery of it, and it runs quite fluently, although I find that the lines where you deviate from the iambs, like 'By an afternoon's rain and hail,' obstruct the rhythm somewhat. It runs in such precise iambics before this, that the line comes somewhat as a surprise. This might be due to my preference for rigid rhyme-schemes though. Otherwise a great job! Timothy Pontious replies: "Hi Kasper, thanks for reading. Glad you enjoyed this one despite the flaws. A lot of times I know the meter is fractured or it just isn't right, but I just can't bring myself to find a way to fix it. *shrug*. So I guess rules are made to be broken or something. I dunno. I'll repay your visit when I can! Thanks!" | |
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Jessica Barnes
A.R. George