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Natalie Touretsky (Gerie Aren)

"A moment of unicorn" by Natalie Touretsky (Gerie Aren)

SciFi/Fantasy text 12 out of 28 by Natalie Touretsky (Gerie Aren).      ←Previous - Next→
 
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A poem based on a dream I had once:) Partially inspired by 'A Dream' by Anastasia I-Morn-Gwathren and by 'Unicoen mist' by Andrea Leslie :)))) It's the longest poem I written in English. I'm not sure the end os OK, maybe I'll change it someday:)))
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←- Last ship to the West | Pegasus in flight -→

A moment of unicorn

 

There was a dream, I dreamed tonight,

Or, maybe, many nights ago...

Late autumn land was washed by rains,

Awaiting for the early snow;

Perched on a rocky slope, way north,

There was a cabin, made of logs,

And red-barked pines in plenty grew

Between gray stones and weathered rocks.

Sunset was washed away by rain,

The night came moonless, sky was clear,

Away from city, stars were bright,

And seemed to be so very near.

At darkness I came outside,

I don’t know why, I don’t recall,

The night was quite, the air was fresh,

But then I felt a distant call.

There was some presence in the night,

Some being calling out for me,

Not in distress, or pain, or fright,

But rather saying: “Come and see!”...

Avoiding puddles, sliding on rocks,

I quickly left the cabin behind.

To follow call of who-knows-what,

I must’ve been out of my mind!

And, suddenly, she just was there,

Like mist, that glide between the trees

Out of nowhere, in front of me,

A sight, that brought me to my knees!

Her color was the blinding white,

She was equine, not very tall,

And I remember slender neck

And mane, the silver waterfall…

I don’t recall of what we spoke,

Or what between us passed untold;

But that great moment was so short,

And as she left the night turned cold.

I don’t know what this all can mean,

Why this dream came, how it was born,

I may be out of my mind,

But I have seen a Unicorn!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

←- Last ship to the West | Pegasus in flight -→

DateNameComment 
18 Aug 2002:-) Anastasia I-Morn-Gwathren
Haha! Very nice, I like it. Very nice flow and rhyme is not forced. Only in the beginning, when you say "awaiting' you can't say "awaiting for..." if you use await then you don't need any connecting prepositions. Just "awaiting the"
or "waiting for the." And in "I quickly left the cabin behind" the rhythm is a bit damaged with "the". Maybe you should play around with it and see what you can do... But I really can't make any suggestions here, the poem is so wonderful, you don't notice any of those small grammar thingies!

Great job, again!

:-) Natalie Touretsky (Gerie Aren) replies: "Thanks again!2 I'll fix it in time2"
15 Sep 2002:-) Olga *Zefni* Pakhomov
Oh i like it so much!!!!!!!Awsome!!! Me likes!!!! The imagery is very beautiful in this!!! Awsome job!!! ^_^

:-) Natalie Touretsky (Gerie Aren) replies: "Thank you!2)"
30 Jul 200345 Crystal R. Russell
OH, I love this! Beautiful imagery!

12 Natalie Touretsky (Gerie Aren) replies: "Thank you!2"
29 Nov 2003:-) Anya ´broom rider´ Kholodova
Ah, Natalie! This is my very favorite piece of poetry I have read in the Wyvern's Library ever! I am not an expert in the English lyrics or grammar but I have read it aloud and I must say that it sounds great; the rhythm is musical and the rhymes are flawless. Not to mention how wonderful the plot is.
Beautiful ballad.

13 Natalie Touretsky (Gerie Aren) replies: "Thank you!2 Sometimes I write ballades... Interesting they all are good deal less depressive than my normal poetry2"
21 Sep 2009:-) Kaii Frances Myrah
wowwww i love this poem! Not only does it tell a beautiful story 2 but the words flow beautifully... I know there’s a lot of discussion about poetry rhyming but I prefer poems that rhyme =) thankyou for sharing your dream with me ^_^
23 Sep 2009:-) Seth Fisher
Pretty good, some words I’d change buts that nit-picking. Take that for whats it worth, I have to dig deep to find faults which are just nit-picking.
Damn fine.
27 Sep 2009:-) Nathan Joseph Smith
very descriptive, love it
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'A moment of unicorn':
 • Created by: :-) Natalie Touretsky (Gerie Aren)
 • Copyright: ©Natalie Touretsky (Gerie Aren). All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Dream, Night, Unicorn
 • Categories: Magic and Sorcery, Spells, etc.
 • Views: 514

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