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Natalie Touretsky (Gerie Aren)

"By the fire" by Natalie Touretsky (Gerie Aren)

SciFi/Fantasy text 3 out of 28 by Natalie Touretsky (Gerie Aren).      ←Previous - Next→
 
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Someone just lit a fire beside the road. And firelight attracted lone travelers...

I guess it is just as fantasy as not fantasy:)
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←- The darkest black unicorn | The dark heart -→

By the fire

 

Wood and dust, and vine, and a lazy talk,

Night, and fire, and heart touched by icy wing,

When recognition dawns as a heavy light

In the eyes of one, who must not remember a thing.

 

Bell-like sound of the strings and bard’s voice is deep,

Songs are the source of all and the well of past.

My cape turned colorless gray, from use and time

And seems in the darkness as if it was made of dust.

 

Hardly we’ll ever come together again.

Wind shifts the fire and carries above the spark.

With sunrise we’ll go everyone to his way.

Red fire tosses lights on the water’s dark.

←- The darkest black unicorn | The dark heart -→

DateNameComment 
24 Jun 2002:-) Andrea Leslie
WOW, this one makes me think of a gypsy camp at night. Its a great poem.

:-) Natalie Touretsky (Gerie Aren) replies: "Maybe it is!(a gypsy camp)2)Thank you!!2)) "
25 Jul 2002:-) Aurélie Scarborough
This is a really pretty poem, with lots of description and feeling in it... fires are always pretty 111

:-) Natalie Touretsky (Gerie Aren) replies: "Thank you!2) I like campfires too, espessially singing2)))))"
6 Aug 2002:-) Jennifer Alice Peters
It seems so often it is only a line or two which makes a poem for me. With this poem I fell in love with these two lines "My cape turned colorless gray, from use and time
And seems in the darkness as if it was made of dust."

:-) Natalie Touretsky (Gerie Aren) replies: "Thank you!2) In russian it was even better:'My cape turned gray in the dust of roads I passed and didn't passed". I had to redo it seriously, but it still held it's charm2)"
31 Aug 200245 Leah
Hi Natalie!
I suppose that it might be challenging to write a poem in a language that is different from your native tongue. However, you've managed to do it very well. You feel the rythm and the music of English. As for the content, I liked your poem very much. However I'm curious if I can understand it as a metaphor for your own feelings?

:-) Natalie Touretsky (Gerie Aren) replies: "Yes it is. Well, all of my poetry is2 This one was inspired by "Dugovka" in company of a fellow named Marik2) Yes, that Marik!2)))))"
16 Dec 2002:-) Timothy Walsh
This is very good (especially if its not your native tongue). It is a nice metaphor that is carried out with good flow and imagery. However, the last two lines or so seem to be somewhat confusing; I can discern a meaning, but its not as clear as it probably should be. You seem to have a very good grasp on English however, and I don't believe much change would be necessary, perhaps just a slight rewording would make it clearer and stronger. Anyway, I enjoyed this, and will certainly read more of your work when I find the time. Take care.

:-) Natalie Touretsky (Gerie Aren) replies: "First of all, thnk you for nice comment!2
When I translated the last verse I shifted the order of rows in it alot, so it possible that they lost some meaning. Basically the 2 last rows are unconnected (by meaning). I'll have to think adout it...2"
12 Jul 2007:-) Heidi Hecht
This is good. You did well with the rhyme scheme and everything. It does sort of remind me of somebody visiting a gypsy camp at night.
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'By the fire':
 • Created by: :-) Natalie Touretsky (Gerie Aren)
 • Copyright: ©Natalie Touretsky (Gerie Aren). All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Fire, Lone, Wanderer
 • Categories: Magic and Sorcery, Spells, etc.
 • Views: 303

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