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Victoria Bellamy

"The Legacy of Gabriel (CH1)" by Victoria Bellamy

SF&F Picture 6 out of 9 by Victoria Bellamy
 
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This is my favourite start so far, just came out of my head after reading the DaVinci code. Already well into Chapter One, It'll be finished soon I hope!
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Una looked away form her classroom window and down at her test paper, she sighed and forced her milk coloured eyes to read the question again in her mind:

In which year was the rebellion of the vampires led by Ivanoff Nevsky?

She shoved her white hair angrily out of her face and tried to think, I know this, she thought, I even remember Mr Henderson telling me only yesterday. She slumped forward on the desk and put her head in her hands, trying to get away from the sunshine to try and think. The sun’s rays bounced round the cavernous examination hall and Bess found herself becoming sleepy with their heat and it wasn’t long before she began to dream again.

She was running, down and down, her feet slipping on the wet steps, but she didn’t care she knew she couldn’t stop till reached the bottom. She jumped the last couple of steps and found herself in a familiar, crescent-shaped room and there as usual were the three doors. They were all identical except for the shapes engrained expertly to the frames, one had silver moons another gold suns and the final door had simple copper circles.

She hesitated for a moment pondering the same decision she had faced so many times before. She gazed around wildly for help, but there was none and she didn’t have much time, the white marble walls of the room glinted cruelly at her and the ancient wood floor creaked meanly as she shifted her weight. She had to make a decision soon, time was running out, going with her instincts she headed for the door on the left with the moons, although she hadn’t even taken one step when she felt a burning hand pulling her back. She fought against it for sometime until she surrendered and she fell once more into darkness.

Una sat up suddenly and realised she was on the floor in the exam hall, her history teacher Mr Henderson was kneeling next to her, his wings cunningly concealed under his shirt.
“Are you alright Una?”
“Yeah, I…..I think so” Una stuttered, the image of the crescent-shaped room still burning inside her head. “Can we talk in your office?”
“Of course, I was just about to suggest it myself,” replied Mr Henderson kindly.

As Una got up and hid her face from the eager onlookers she heard Mr Henderson talking to Ms Spark,
“I told you too keep an eye on her, she is not supposed to see those visions, it is very important that she never dreams.” Mr Henderson snapped under his breath,
“Well if I knew what she was dreaming perhaps I would…..” started Ms Spark started before Mr Henderson cut her off
“You would not want to know, it would drive your frail mind mad Ms Spark.” He paused then continued, “I also suggest that these other children be allowed to continue with their tests in case they might fail,” Then he strode over to where Una was standing and escorted her out of the hall.

Una didn’t speak to her teacher until the door to his office was firmly locked and there was no chance of being overheard, and then she blurted out,
“I saw the room again sir, and the three doors. There was that same urgency and when I finally chose a door something held me back a……”
“That was me,” interrupted Mr Henderson apologetically.
“Oh I thought……….Why?” replied Una bluntly

“It’s complicated Una, sit down.” Una sat. ”Before I start I must apologize, you should not have suffered as you have, it should not have been you at all.”
“Well thanks, but I don’t get it,” put in Una frustrated at not understanding.
“Just let me explain Una. There is a prophecy among angels that a direct, blood descendant of Gabriel will fulfil an ancient prophecy set down by God when he created the world we call earth.”
“But I know this, what I don’t get is….” started Una, growing impatient.
“Let me finish Una, I knew you were determined but not impatient!” Una blushed; she hated it when her teacher said things like that. “As I was saying, the prophecy has not been carried out yet, angels are waiting for the true heir to arrive, their have been many who have claimed to be the descendant. When you were given to me by your dying mother to raise, she also confirmed that you were the true descendant of Gabriel. This I did not believe until you started having these visions; they confirmed that you were that descendant and that you were the one to carry out the prophecy. The room you see is a place no living mortal can find, it is The Crossing and only God and the Chosen One know where it is, one day it your destiny to got there and open the correct door. I have been allowed to see the room because I am your Teacher and will give you advice and help until the day comes when you fulfil your destiny at The Crossing. As for why I hold you back from choosing a door, well, you need to make your choice when the time comes and not before.”

Una was speechless, it’s true she had heard the prophecy before but to think those visions were connected to that and that she was Gabriel’s only descendant. It was impossible.
“But it can’t be me!” Una exclaimed suddenly
“Oh and why is that?” Mr Henderson replied a hint of a smile playing across his lips.
“It just can’t, those visions are not normal but they aren’t connected to…..to..” Una trailed off
“God informs us that the room is crescent-shaped and has white marble walls and an ancient, creaking, wood floor,” Mr Henderson informed politely, folding his arms and looked at Una as if she’d answered a simple question wrongly. Una didn’t notice the sarcastic gesture, she was too busy thinking. There was no alternative, no other explanations for her erratic visions, and if all this was true then why had Mr Henderson stopped her from choosing a door, when she asked all he said was,
“It is not time,”
“But why can’t I just look, maybe it’ll help me decide,” Una said forcefully
“You are not supposed to make a choice until the time is right, when you are ready for what will come after you open one of those doors,” replied Mr Henderson patiently.
“What will come after? When will the time be right?” Una asked furiously and then when her anger had fizzled out she sighed “I just don’t understand,”
“Exactly! You are not supposed to understand.” He paused “At least not yet.”

←- Take my Hand | Pursuit -→

DateNameComment 
11 Jul 2006:-) Kathrine Keathley
I like! There's a lot of anticipation and mystery, and the characters seem quite real. Awesome work.

12 Victoria Bellamy replies: "Thanks this is probably my favourite start so far, I'm in the middle of Chapter two at the moment but I am suffering slightly from writers block. But hopefully it'll pass!!!!!!"
18 Jul 200645 Elke Van den Broecke
Nice! Can't wait till the next part of the story...

12 Victoria Bellamy replies: "I am writing the next part but I'm a very tired. Hopefully I'll get it up soon, I'll email you when it is published!"
8 Aug 2006:-) Eric F. Wilkinson
Nice work! Easy to read stile. Good foreboding. And I care about the characters. I look forward to reading more of it.

12 Victoria Bellamy replies: "Thanks for the comment. I really did strive to get a sense of foreboding and I tried to make the characters seem as real as possible. I am currently in the middle of the second part but am suffering from severe writers block at present. Anyway thanks again for the comment! 12"
15 Aug 2006:-) C. 'Cain' Brooks
The potential of where this could lead is almost as fun as the story. I hope you put out another chapter soon. But here's the "whoops" section. You missed a few words and added an extra "T" in "one day it your destiny to got there". And perhaps you could have made this the start of a new sentence? Well that's what I think anyway. On the whole, its a vary nice read and I'm looking forward to more chapters.

12 Victoria Bellamy replies: "Thanks! I loved writing The Chosen One and this story because I don't know what's going to happen next! I just make it up! I do make a lot of mistakes in my writing please forgive me! On the whole I'm gald you liked it! Thanks again!"
20 Aug 2006:-) Robert Hansen
Interesting, I hope there is a sequel.

12 Victoria Bellamy replies: "Thanks and this is only Chapter One! "
9 Jul 2008:-) Emily Max Lee
Nice story! I’m interested and I can’t wait to see where this goes, but I was a bit thrown off by a few punctuation errors and run-ons. The story was engaging enough that I didn’t really notice though 1 Also I think that the transitions from the dream back to reality was a little rough; it took me a moment to realize that the dream was over. I think you could maybe--if you agree--put the dream in italics for an easier read. Overall it is a very nice beginning, and I can’t wait for more!
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About 'The Legacy of Gabriel (CH1)':
 • Status: OK
 • Created by: :-) Victoria Bellamy
 • Copyright: ©Victoria Bellamy. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Angel, Prophecy, Chosen, One, Coming, Prologue
 • Categories: Vampires, Zombies, Undeads, Dark, Gothic, Angels, Religious, Spiritual, Holy
 • Views: 166


More by 'Victoria Bellamy':
Pursuit
Dance of the Fae
To Weave a Tale
Epona and Abel
Take my Hand
The Battle
The Modern Ledgend (CH1)
A little too long

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