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Crista Whyte

"Deftly the Bird Flies" by Crista Whyte

SF&F Picture 2 out of 12 by Crista Whyte
 
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'It's a bird! It's a plane!' Well, maybe not the latter... A poem I wrote inspired by a new story that just popped into my head in movie format. The visual stories I get always tend to make better poems, so here it be :)
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Deftly the bird flies,

but what bird looks like this?

Two un-feathered wings outstretched,

meeting beneath its scaled underbelly,

to hide its massive, talon claws.

It is no bird,

for what bird looks like this?

 

Through the night sky,

it is but one long, shimmering diamond,

with eyes that pierce the soul,

like men’s who first meet the light of day,

squinting,

stepping back.

 

A serpent, were we not so clever,

for what serpent looks like this?

At the end of it’s long line

is a tail like a fish,

elegant and rippling through the

watery depth of black.

But what serpent looks like this?

 

Alight with fire, it seems,

Burning with the glow of orange embers,

It turns to face us down below,

barring its teeth

like a rabid,

drooling dog.

 

A dragon, perhaps,

but what dragon lives for us to see?

Yet there in the sky it hovers,

beating its wings to cast us back astray.

its head reels back,

seething in the breath of death,

and there upon our quivering hearts

the embers grow to flames.

 

Who lives now, with a dragon to see?

←- A Warning | Evermoon (poem) -→

DateNameComment 
7 Sep 2005:-) Sharon *Blackstaff* Black
Incredible. Great imagery, great verse and rhythm. Well done.

:-) Crista Whyte replies: "Thank you, Sharon! I'm happy you liked it 2"
7 Sep 200545 D Joelle Duran
Just beautiful imagery in this--I like how you phrase it as a series of questions and give more information in each stanza.

"At the end of it's long line
is a tail like a fish"
Should be its, not it's.


"like men's who first meet the light of day,
squinting,
stepping back."
I really liked this bit--fantastic!

:-) Crista Whyte replies: "hmmm... the often confusing posessive of "its" and "it's". Thanks for pointing that out. And thank you for the lovely comment! I'm glad you liked it 2"
8 Sep 2005:-) Julia Anna Rill
I have to agree with the other two! Great embellishment! Really nicely written! I like that style of yours a lot! And the story of the poem of course!

1 Crista Whyte replies: "Thankee Julia!"
28 Sep 2005:-) Katie Collishaw
NICENESS!!! totally awesome.. I do like how you ask questions in this, and describe it. Wonderfully done!

:-) Crista Whyte replies: "Thank you very much, Katie! 2"
5 Jun 2006:-) Elizabeth Wilcox
This is very good. In fact, I only had one line that I think could be made better:
"like men’s who first meet the light of day,"
would "like men who . . ." work?

:-) Crista Whyte replies: "Yes, that line haunts me from time to time. I wrote "Like men's..." as I was referring to eyes, but sometimes I think it didn't quite come out right. Thanks for the comment! Much appreciated!"
6 Jul 2006:-) L. ´Frog´ Janas
It has a certain rhythm to it without being in some rigid Shakespearan meter. I like the structure of it. The imagery is great.



Sorry - tangent: If you've ever seen Rocky and Bullwinkle there is this episode where they blow up an elevator and it is flying through the sky and the people are all gawking at it and shouting "it's a bird!" "it's a plane!" "it's - an elevator?" Teehee

:-) Crista Whyte replies: "gah, I haven't seen that show in ages! I remember that episdoe, though. Too funy 2Thank you very much for the comment!"
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About 'Deftly the Bird Flies':
 • Status: OK
 • Created by: :-) Crista Whyte
 • Copyright: ©Crista Whyte. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Dragon, Night, Sky, Dark, Talon, Wings, Bird, Fire, Embers, Serpent, Diamond, Teeth
 • Categories: Dragons, Drakes, Wyverns, etc
 • Views: 135


More by 'Crista Whyte':
The Unexplained Angel
Storms of Nature
Nature's Vengeance
Ueldana Torn
Sketchbook of a Demon (a poem)
Soul Possessions Ch I
Evermoon (poem)
A Warning

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