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This is a small piece of a story im working on. If anyone can give me feedback that would be great. I'd love to see this work finished and maybe even published
I glanced around the crumbling ruin of a room I stood in. Bodies littered the floor, and fresh blood pooled on the cold stone floor, filling the room with its thick copper smell. I watched friends fall before me, and more felt than heard their agonizing screams as they died. I shared their regret, their surprise at death. And then, time slowed. Rage began to flood my senses, an angry tide threatening to sweep away both my reason, and sanity.
More soldiers advanced. My control was cast aside, my rage and my instincts seizing control. I was but an observer in my own body, watching, sickened as I rushed forward, bloody steel in hand. Gone was the cold, efficient killer, replaced instead by a crazed, foaming animal. The guards faltered, engulfed by sudden fear. Pure madness filled my gaze. I could only watch in silent horror as my blade flashed, cleaving through flesh and bone without thought of elegance or efficiency. Feel only second hand the blood splatter across my face as my blade gutted and maimed the men around me. The cruel inefficiency of it was gut-wrenching. All around me men fell, without even the simple mercy of a quick death. Then, silence. Tense, frightening, like a beast before striking, or a storm, just before it breaks. There was only Him left. He stood before me, braced, defiantly. I felt a low beastly roar tear itself from my lips as I swung my sword, savouring the small hesitation as s my blade cleaved through his collar, and one, two ribs. I bared my teeth in a satisfied feral grin. Shock filled his face as he looked from me to the steel through his torso. I blinked and he was gone. Instead I saw Her, auburn hair floating above her shoulders. Her face held no expression but her eyes, brilliant green, held two things. Fear, and pain. A pain born not of physical injury, but regret, disbelief, and betrayal. Tears filled her eyes as she sagged to the floor. I felt something snap, and woke up screaming.