"Contemplation" by Zuya Zarei

She had spied him on a number of occasions over the last few days. What was he now, fifty five, sixty? She remembered a much younger version of him, that final image of him sending her off etched into her memory. Many times she had almost summoned up the courage to walk up to the cottage and reintroduce herself. Or is it introduce? She certainly looked different, but inside, she was the same. Well, as much as was possible under the circumstances.

But every time, her resolve had failed when she remembered that he had his own family now. Of course, he had remarried. Who wouldn’t? His wife seemed to care for him, which was some comfort. Not much. Just some. Which was better than nothing, wasn’t it? And then there were the children. Too young to be their own, so likely they were grandchildren. Grandchildren! She would have been a grandmother too. If only she had been more careful. If only she hadn’t died.

She had looked forward to this day for a long time. She had spent much of her free time tracking him down discreetly. And when she finally got there, she could not go on. How could she simply show up at their door and upset everything? She needed to talk to him though. She simply had to close that part of her previous life. Though it felt like it was part of this life too. Half a lifetime had passed for them. He had put her memory to rest a long time ago. How could she re-open old wounds because of her selfish needs? If would be better for everyone if she bore this burden alone. She had to move on, or she would drag everyone down with her. Maybe it was time to pack up and leave. This little copse was getting too comfortable anyway. And she still had her job to do.

 “Would you like some?”

It was the littlest of the children, a little girl. Menel had not even heard her approach. Yet there she was, offering her a drink. His wife appeared soon after, inviting her to come in for a little bite. “Come on, young lady. You’re never too old to be taken care of,” She said with a wink.

Menel sighed. This was simply too cruel.  

I've wanted to explore this part of Menel's background for a while now, but the right image never cropped up. It was nice to finally put it on paper. The exercise in highlighting green hair was also great fun. Other parts of Menel's story can be found at Boon? and Enraged Menel.

Chalk pastels on pastels paper.